The pie chart gives information on the proportion of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets.
This response is estimated at Band 9.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The pie charts compare the proportion of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets, namely an average diet, a healthy diet, and a healthy diet for sport.
It is noticeable that a healthy diet for sport comprisessportspeople require a diet comprising a highersignificantly higher proportion of carbohydrates than an average diet or a healthy diet. The average diet contains the lowest percentage of carbohydrates but the highest proportion of protein.
Carbohydrates make up 60% of the healthy diet for sport. This is 10 percentage points higher10% higher than the proportion of carbohydrates in a healthy dietnormal healthy diet, and 20 percentage points higher20% more than the proportion in an average diet. On the other hand, an average diet containspeople who eat an average diet consume a greater relative amount of protein (40%) than those who eat a healthy diet (30%) and sportspeople (25%).
The third nutrientcompound shown in the charts is fat. Fat constitutes exactly one fifth of both the average diet and the healthy diet, but the corresponding proportion is lowerthe figure drops to only 15% for the healthy diet for sporthealthy sports diet.
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response presents a complete, highly accurate account with a clear overview and well-chosen comparisons across all three diets. Its only notable limitation is the slightly imprecise label "compound" for fat, while the organisation and grammatical control are exceptionally strong. The highest-priority refinement is to sustain the same precision by using exact nutritional terminology and, where useful, distinguishing percentage-point differences from percentage increases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully covers the visual, accurately reporting every proportion and highlighting the most important contrasts.
For maximum numerical precision, describe differences such as 60% versus 50% as percentage-point gaps.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses seamlessly from a concise overview to logically grouped carbohydrate, protein, and fat comparisons.
Maintain this focused paragraph structure while continuing to avoid unnecessary repetition of chart labels.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise overall, although "compound" is a slightly inaccurate label for a dietary nutrient.
Use exact nutritional terms such as "nutrient" or "macronutrient" when referring collectively to fat, protein, and carbohydrates.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used with consistently accurate grammar and punctuation.
Preserve this level of control while continuing to vary comparative clause patterns naturally.