The maps show the changes of an office building between the present and the future.
Sample Response
The maps provide information about how an office building is going to change in the future.
Overall, the building will undergo several changes, including an extension on one side of the building and a significant renovation of the inside of the building with the addition of several new features.
The future office building plans show that an extension of the building will replace the current grass area on the right side of the building. In the newly extended area will be a coffee machine and toilet in the rear, and a meeting area with chairs in the front. The grass area on the left side of the building will be replaced with an outdoor seating area and more chairs.
Other changes planned to take place in the future will be to the front of the building. Currently the main entrance is located on the right side, however in the future it will be relocated to the centre. The four small offices currently at the front of the building will be split into two larger offices, one on either side of the entrance. The kitchen and canteen at the rear of the building will be converted into offices, while the storeroom will stay intact.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a concise verb Original: provide information about how Suggested revision: show how Why it matters: ‘Show’ conveys the same meaning more directly in a map introduction.
- 2. Reduce repetition Original: significant renovation of the inside of the building Suggested revision: significant internal renovation Why it matters: The concise phrase avoids repeating ‘building’ while preserving the meaning.
- 3. Use a singular subject Original: The future office building plans show that Suggested revision: The future plan shows that Why it matters: The visual presents one future plan, so the singular form is more accurate and concise.
- 4. Use the plural facility Original: toilet Suggested revision: WCs Why it matters: The future map labels this facility as plural WCs.
- 5. Avoid an unsupported comparison Original: more Suggested revision: several Why it matters: The present map shows grass rather than existing chairs, so ‘more’ creates an unsupported comparison.
- 6. Fix the construction Original: will be to the front of the building Suggested revision: will affect the front of the building Why it matters: Changes ‘affect’ an area; they are not ‘to’ an area.
- 7. Fix the sentence boundary Original: side, however in Suggested revision: side; however, in Why it matters: A semicolon separates the independent clauses, and ‘however’ takes a following comma.
- 8. Use map language Original: stay intact Suggested revision: remain unchanged Why it matters: ‘Remain unchanged’ is the conventional precise phrase for a feature retained on a map.
- 9. Make the overview specific Suggested revision: Identify the conversion of both grass areas and the redistribution of the internal rooms as the two main changes. Why it matters: The current overview is broad and would be more informative if it named the dominant external and internal transformations.
Suggested Rewrites
- provide information about how show how
- significant renovation of the inside of the building significant internal renovation
- The future office building plans show that The future plan shows that
- toilet WCs
- more several
- will be to the front of the building will affect the front of the building
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is well organized and accurately describes the building's expansion, room conversions, entrance relocation, outdoor seating, and retained storeroom. Its main limitation is that a few secondary changes, particularly the retained side entrance and the relocation of the toilets, are not made fully explicit. Add those precise comparisons and tighten a small number of awkward or repetitive expressions to make an already strong account more complete.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and nearly all major changes are presented accurately, with only minor omissions concerning the side entrance and toilet relocation.
Complete the comparison by noting that the left-side entrance remains and that the toilets move to the new upper-right extension.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is purposeful, progression is clear, and cohesive references guide the reader smoothly through exterior and interior changes.
Keep each detail paragraph anchored to one spatial area so that every present-to-future comparison remains equally direct.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad and generally precise range for spatial change, though 'split into two larger offices' is less accurate than 'combined into two larger offices'.
Choose verbs that describe the plan exactly and reduce repetition of 'building', 'future', and 'changes'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used accurately, with strong control throughout and only minor punctuation strain.
Use a semicolon or full stop before 'however' when joining the two independent clauses about the entrance.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The maps show the changes of an office building between the present and the future.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.