The maps show the changes of an office building between the present and the future.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The maps show howprovide information about how an office building is going to change in the future.
Overall, the building will undergo several changes, including an extension on one side of the building and a significant internal renovationsignificant renovation of the inside of the building with the addition of several new features.
The future plan shows thatThe future office building plans show that an extension of the building will replace the current grass area on the right side of the building. In the newly extended area will be a coffee machine and WCstoilet in the rear, and a meeting area with chairs in the front. The grass area on the left side of the building will be replaced with an outdoor seating area and severalmore chairs.
Other changes planned to take place in the future will affect the front of the buildingwill be to the front of the building. Currently the main entrance is located on the right side; however, inside, however in the future it will be relocated to the centre. The four small offices currently at the front of the building will be split into two larger offices, one on either side of the entrance. The kitchen and canteen at the rear of the building will be converted into offices, while the storeroom will remain unchangedstay intact.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is well organized and accurately describes the building's expansion, room conversions, entrance relocation, outdoor seating, and retained storeroom. Its main limitation is that a few secondary changes, particularly the retained side entrance and the relocation of the toilets, are not made fully explicit. Add those precise comparisons and tighten a small number of awkward or repetitive expressions to make an already strong account more complete.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and nearly all major changes are presented accurately, with only minor omissions concerning the side entrance and toilet relocation.
Complete the comparison by noting that the left-side entrance remains and that the toilets move to the new upper-right extension.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is purposeful, progression is clear, and cohesive references guide the reader smoothly through exterior and interior changes.
Keep each detail paragraph anchored to one spatial area so that every present-to-future comparison remains equally direct.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad and generally precise range for spatial change, though 'split into two larger offices' is less accurate than 'combined into two larger offices'.
Choose verbs that describe the plan exactly and reduce repetition of 'building', 'future', and 'changes'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used accurately, with strong control throughout and only minor punctuation strain.
Use a semicolon or full stop before 'however' when joining the two independent clauses about the entrance.