The table below gives information about online activities of people in different age groups.
Sample Response
The table gives information on the online activities of people based on their age groups. Comparing those activities, it can be said that getting news is the most popular online activity among the internet users of all ages. Getting back to details, at least 70% people in all age groups use the Internet to get news and it goes to as high as 76% in teenage groups. While slightly more than 80% teenagers play online games, it drops to over 50% of people in their twenties and 37% when they are in their thirties. Interestingly people over 70 years old like online games more than the people between 40 and 60 do. Digital content download activity is mostly popular among the younger citizens and it drops with the increase of people’s ages. For instance, teenagers’ download accounts for 52% while this drops as low as 6% when people are over 70 years old. Online product research shows a reverse trend and seems like more popular among the adults than the younger people. Adults more or less do 70 to 83 percent online research while this is only 2% among teens. Buying online is equally popular among all internet users and this activity ranges from 43% (the lowest) among teens to 69% (the highest) among people in thirties. Searching for people does not seem like a very popular activity as only 5% teenager do it while the adults’ portion of this activity ranges from 23 to 31 percent. Social networking is more popular among the younger netizens while less common among the aged population. Finally, watching online videos is more popular among the people in their twenties and fifties.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal transition Original: Getting back to details Suggested revision: Turning to the details Why it matters: This transition introduces the detailed figures more naturally.
- 2. Add missing preposition Original: 70% people Suggested revision: 70% of people Why it matters: A percentage followed by a noun requires “of” here.
- 3. Use natural data phrase Original: it goes to as high as Suggested revision: the figure rises as high as Why it matters: The replacement expresses a numerical high point accurately and naturally.
- 4. Use singular group Original: teenage groups Suggested revision: the teenage group Why it matters: The table contains one teenage age group, so a singular noun phrase is required.
- 5. Add missing preposition Original: 80% teenagers Suggested revision: 80% of teenagers Why it matters: Use “of” between a percentage and the group it quantifies.
- 6. Clarify comparison group Original: 37% when they are in their thirties Suggested revision: 37% among people in their thirties Why it matters: The revision removes the unclear pronoun reference and keeps the comparison parallel.
- 7. Add introductory comma Original: Interestingly people Suggested revision: Interestingly, people Why it matters: An introductory sentence adverb should be followed by a comma.
- 8. Match table population Original: younger citizens Suggested revision: younger age groups Why it matters: The table groups internet users by age rather than by citizenship.
- 9. Use correct superlative Original: mostly Suggested revision: most Why it matters: “Most popular” is the correct form for the highest level of popularity.
- 10. Express age trend clearly Original: with the increase of people’s ages Suggested revision: as age increases Why it matters: The replacement gives the trend a concise and grammatical structure.
- 11. Use plural activity noun Original: teenagers’ download Suggested revision: downloads by teenagers Why it matters: The sentence refers to downloading activity by the group, not one possessed download.
- 12. Use concise age phrase Original: when people are over 70 years old Suggested revision: among people aged 70 or over Why it matters: This phrasing reports an age-group statistic more directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- Getting back to details Turning to the details
- 70% people 70% of people
- it goes to as high as the figure rises as high as
- teenage groups the teenage group
- 80% teenagers 80% of teenagers
- 37% when they are in their thirties 37% among people in their thirties
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives broad coverage of all eight online activities and makes several useful age-group comparisons, with generally clear progression and a varied vocabulary. Its main limitation is an inaccurate overview: news is not the leading activity in most groups, and the stated purchasing range also overlooks the 70+ figure; the highest-priority improvement is therefore to verify the dominant patterns and extremes before writing the overview.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers every activity and reports many accurate trends, but its central claim that news is most popular at all ages is contradicted by the table.
Base the overview on the true cross-group pattern, noting that product research leads for most adult groups while news leads only among the oldest groups.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from news through the remaining activities, although the single long paragraph and repeated contrast pattern limit structural clarity.
Separate the overview from two grouped detail paragraphs, organising activities by similar age-related trends rather than listing each row in turn.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably varied range supports comparison, but collocations such as "mostly popular" and "adults more or less do 70 to 83 percent online research" are imprecise.
Use more natural statistical phrasing, such as "most popular," "accounted for," and "the proportion ranged from 70% to 83%."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a useful mix of simple and complex sentences, but recurring article, agreement, and comparison errors reduce control without obscuring meaning.
Proofread percentage constructions and noun phrases, especially forms such as "70% of people," "5% of teenagers," and "more popular among adults."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives information about online activities of people in different age groups.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.