The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas of a European country between 1987 and 2007.
This response is estimated at Band 5.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The graph illustrates how the number of global visitors to three kinds of areas of a European nationEurpean nation changed over a 20-year period20 years period.
Overall, it is clear that the number of travellers who chosetravllers chose the coast and the mountains in a EuropeanEurpean country followed an upward trendfollwed a upward throughout the period, whereas the figure for the lake experienced a significantsignificantly increase from 19871986 to 2002, and then showedshow a decline from 2002 to 2007.
The number of overseas visitors to the coast decreased to nearly 35 thousandthousands in 1992, before significantly rising to 80 thousandthousands in 2007. The figure for the mountains saw a steady increase, from 20 thousandthousands in 1987 to nearly 40 thousandthousands in 2007. The numbernubmer of global travellerstravllers to the lake of a Europeaneuropean nation dramaticallydrmaticly increased from 10 thousandthousands to nearly 75 thousandthousands between 1987 and 2002, before decreasing2002,after decreased to 50 thousandthousands in 2007.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The report effectively highlights the main trends and provides clear numerical data for all three locations shown in the graph. However, frequent spelling mistakes, awkward numerical phrasing, and grammatical inaccuracies prevent the response from achieving a higher score. To improve performance, focus on refining grammatical structures for reporting trends and carefully checking word accuracy before completing the writing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and main data trends are presented with reasonable accuracy, though minor errors in figures and dates appear.
Ensure all reported data points match the graph precisely and aim for at least 150 words to develop key comparisons fully.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description is logically structured by category, using straightforward linking words to connect ideas.
Incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices and transitions to link details smoothly across sentences.
Lexical Resource
While adequate data reporting terms are attempted, frequent spelling mistakes and awkward expressions like '35 thousands' reduce vocabulary quality.
Practice correct spelling of common Task 1 words and avoid adding 's' to numbers like thousand when preceded by specific digits.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence structures is used, but grammatical errors in verb forms, article choice, and clause structure occur regularly.
Review complex sentence construction and past-tense verb agreements to ensure correct control of syntax.