The table shows the number of people who took part in a national health survey between 2005 and 2009, answering questions about their sleeping habits.
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Sample Response
The table illustrates the figures for people participating in aparticipating a health survey nationally from 2005 to 2009 in relation to their sleeping habits.
Overall, the number of women who took part in the research of sleeping habits rose overall despite a final-year dropincreased steadily throughout the 5 years, while the figures for malesmale experienced a dramatic fluctuation and reached the peak as high asidentical peak with those for females.
Females giving feedback about their sleeping habits were 6000 in 2005, 3 times those for males, with 2000. The next year saw a considerable increase in both the number of women and men, although the former was one third of the latter, reaching 12,000 and 36,000 respectivelyreaching 12000 and 36000 respectively. In contrast, the year 2007 witnessed the same number of people for both gendersin two genders, with 32,000 each32000 people apiece. However, women and men displayed different trends later. In 2008, female respondents peaked at 331000, while the figure for males declinedwhile male declined substantially to 31000, a much lower figurean extremely lower figure. Finally, both groups again reached the identical number at 270,000identical number at 27000.
The total number of respondents experienced the a similar pattern tosimilar patters with that of femalesfemale, beginning from 8000 in 2005 , increasing considerably in the following years, and recording the highest number at 540,000and recorded the largest number with 540000 in 2009.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay effectively structures the key details from the visual prompt and makes several accurate comparisons across the years. However, its effectiveness is limited by key inaccuracies in reported data and overview trends, alongside frequent grammatical and lexical errors. To improve, focus on double-checking reported figures against the source image and refining prepositional and comparative phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies major data points but contains inaccurate trend descriptions in the overview and misreports the final 2009 figure as 27,000 instead of 270,000.
Verify all numerical values and high-level trend observations carefully against the visual chart before finalizing the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay uses a clear four-paragraph organization with recognizable logical progression throughout the description.
Improve sentence-to-sentence cohesive devices to avoid awkward connective phrasing such as 'experienced the similar patters with that of female'.
Lexical Resource
An adequate vocabulary range is demonstrated with terms like 'apiece', 'declined substantially', and 'respondents', though some word choices are clumsy or incorrectly formed.
Work on correct word forms and natural collocations, replacing unnatural expressions like 'figures for male' and 'an extremely lower figure'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is attempted, but minor grammatical errors and missing prepositions occur frequently throughout the text.
Focus on accurate preposition use after verbs and nouns, such as using 'participating in' rather than 'participating'.