The table below shows the number of kilometres passengers travelled on five types of transport in a European country in 1995, 2005 and 2015. [* Distance in billion kilometres]
Sample Response
A glance at the table provided reveals the distances travelled by passengers on five kinds of vehicles in a European country over a twenty years period, from 1995 to 2015. It is evident that there were fluctuations in the distances travelled in different modes of transports over the given period but trains and buses were more popular. One particularly interesting fact is that from a mere 2 billion kilometres travel in the airway in 1995, it soared to ten times in 2015. This shows that air travel has become popular in recent years. The rail travel, meanwhile, rose gradually by 10 billion in 2005 and reached the 60 billion mark in 2015. From the given figure it is clear that travelling in railways was the most popular form of travelling in the given European country. On the contrary, travelling on a bus was more popular in the 1990s, as 56 billion km were travelled using buses, but lost its popularity in the later years. Furthermore, distances travelled by bicycles and motorbikes were comparatively lesser and experienced a slow decline, to somewhere in the vicinity of 1 and 2 billion km. respectively in 2005, followed by a slight increase in 2015. It is also interesting to note that the total distance travelled by the passengers in this country in 1995 was 103 billion km while it increased over the years and reached 130 billion km in 2015.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use transport modes Original: five kinds of vehicles Suggested revision: five modes of transport Why it matters: The table compares transport modes, including walking-free categories such as rail and air, rather than five vehicle kinds.
- 2. Form compound adjective Original: a twenty years period Suggested revision: a twenty-year period Why it matters: A number-plus-unit compound used before a noun takes a singular hyphenated form.
- 3. Use uncountable transport Original: transports Suggested revision: transport Why it matters: “Transport” is uncountable in the expression “modes of transport”.
- 4. Describe measured distance Original: trains and buses were more popular Suggested revision: rail and bus travel recorded the greatest distances Why it matters: The table measures distance travelled, not popularity directly.
- 5. Avoid unsupported popularity Original: has become popular in recent years Suggested revision: accounted for a greater distance by 2015 Why it matters: The figures support an increase in distance travelled but do not directly measure popularity.
- 6. Remove unnecessary article Original: The rail travel Suggested revision: Rail travel Why it matters: “Rail travel” is used without the definite article when referring to the mode generally.
- 7. State interval accurately Original: rose gradually by 10 billion in 2005 Suggested revision: increased by 10 billion kilometres between 1995 and 2005 Why it matters: The table shows a rise from 38 to 48 billion kilometres across that ten-year interval.
- 8. Use correct collocation Original: travelling in railways Suggested revision: travelling by rail Why it matters: “By rail” is the standard expression for this mode of transport.
- 9. Correct motorbike figure Original: 1 and 2 billion km. respectively in 2005 Suggested revision: 1 and 3 billion km respectively in 2005 Why it matters: The table gives 1 billion kilometres for bicycles and 3 billion for motorbikes in 2005.
- 10. Use direct introduction Original: A glance at the table provided reveals Suggested revision: The table shows Why it matters: The concise reporting phrase is more direct and formal.
- 11. Summarise trends precisely Original: there were fluctuations Suggested revision: there were contrasting trends Why it matters: Air and rail rose, bus declined, and the two smaller modes changed direction, so the trends contrast rather than merely fluctuate.
- 12. Add clause comma Original: over the given period but Suggested revision: over the given period, but Why it matters: A comma is needed before “but” when it joins two independent clauses.
Suggested Rewrites
- five kinds of vehicles five modes of transport
- a twenty years period a twenty-year period
- transports transport
- trains and buses were more popular rail and bus travel recorded the greatest distances
- has become popular in recent years accounted for a greater distance by 2015
- The rail travel Rail travel
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response identifies all major trends and supports them with well-chosen, accurate figures, especially the rise in air and rail travel and the decline in bus use. Its main weakness is language precision, with awkward phrases such as “ten times” and “travelling in railways,” while the single dense paragraph limits presentation. Use more natural transport collocations and divide the overview from the detailed comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The report gives a clear overview and accurately covers the principal trends, key values, and total-distance increase across the period.
Refine the overview by stating explicitly that rail overtook bus, while air recorded the fastest proportional growth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information develops logically from broad trends to individual modes and totals, but one long paragraph reduces the clarity of grouping.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and group the rising modes separately from bus, bicycle, and motorbike.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of trend and comparison vocabulary, although several transport collocations and comparative forms are awkward or imprecise.
Use natural expressions such as “air travel rose tenfold,” “rail travel,” “modes of transport,” and “lower figures.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence structures are generally well controlled, with some errors in number, articles, comparison forms, and noun phrases.
Edit phrases such as “a twenty-year period,” “2 billion kilometres of air travel,” and “comparatively lower” to improve accuracy.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the number of kilometres passengers travelled on five types of transport in a European country in 1995, 2005 and 2015. [* Distance in billion kilometres]
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.