The table below shows personal saving as a percentage of personal income for selected countries in 1970, 1990 and 2010. Canada 5.6 11.5 1.9 France 18.7 12.5 13.6 Germany 13.8 11.8 Italy 29.5 17.6 11.4 Japan 12.1 UK 9.2 8.2 11.1 USA 5.5 4.0
Sample Response
The table data gives information on the percentages of savings from the personal income of people in seven different countries in three different years - 1990, 2000 and 2010. As is obvious, Japanse, French and Italian citizens amassed the highest percentages of their income and the savings percentages decreased over the time. Now, turning back to the details, the percentages of income devoted to savings by the people in these countries considerably decreased in 2010 compared to that of 1990 except in the UK. The highest savings were done by the Italians in 1990 and the percentage of their savings was almost 30 which reduced to only about 17 percent in 2000 and 11.4 in 2010. French and Japanese also saved over 17% of their income in 1990 which became 13.6% after 20 years for both of these citizens. Interestingly, Canada in the only country where people managed to almost double their savings in 2000 than that of ten years earlier but after further ten years, their savings ration became very little and lower than the savings of people in any other country. Compared to the savings ratio in 2000, only French Japanese and British had been able to save more in 2010 and in the remaining countries, people's individual savings in terms of their income plunged.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant noun Original: The table data Suggested revision: The table Why it matters: Table already identifies the source, so data is redundant here.
- 2. Use natural noun phrase Original: percentages of savings Suggested revision: savings percentages Why it matters: Savings percentages is the more natural expression for the reported measure.
- 3. Make wording concise Original: from the personal income of people Suggested revision: of personal income Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the same measure more precisely.
- 4. Introduce the year list Original: three different years - Suggested revision: three years: Why it matters: A colon clearly introduces the three listed years.
- 5. Signal the overview Original: As is obvious Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: Overall more directly marks the summary of the main patterns.
- 6. Correct spelling Original: Japanse Suggested revision: Japanese Why it matters: Japanese is the correct spelling of the nationality adjective.
- 7. Use data verb Original: amassed Suggested revision: saved Why it matters: Saved directly describes the measure shown in the table.
- 8. Describe proportions precisely Original: highest percentages of their income Suggested revision: highest proportions of their income Why it matters: Proportions is a more precise term for shares of income.
- 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: over the time Suggested revision: over time Why it matters: The fixed expression is over time without the article.
- 10. Use direct transition Original: turning back to the details Suggested revision: turning to the details Why it matters: Back is unnecessary because detailed figures have not been discussed previously.
- 11. Match plural figures Original: compared to that of 1990 Suggested revision: compared with those in 1990 Why it matters: Those correctly refers to the multiple percentages being compared.
- 12. Name the people Original: French and Japanese Suggested revision: French and Japanese citizens Why it matters: The nationality adjectives need a noun when referring to these groups of people.
Suggested Rewrites
- The table data The table
- percentages of savings savings percentages
- from the personal income of people of personal income
- three different years - three years:
- As is obvious Overall
- Japanse Japanese
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response identifies the broad downward trend and supports it with several accurate comparisons, especially for Italy, Canada, France, and Japan. Its main limitation is that Germany and the USA receive little specific coverage, while some claims overstate the scale of decline and several word choices are awkward. The priority is to select a more balanced set of figures and express changes with precise comparative language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and several accurate key comparisons are provided, but coverage is uneven and the final claim that the remaining countries plunged is overstated.
Include representative figures for Germany and the USA and distinguish slight falls from sharp declines.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a generally logical overview-to-detail progression, though transitions and repeated references to savings can feel mechanical.
Group countries by similar trends and use fewer formulaic transitions to sharpen progression.
Lexical Resource
The response shows useful range for describing proportions and change, but recurrent awkward choices such as 'savings were done' and 'savings ration' reduce precision.
Use standard data-reporting collocations such as 'the savings rate rose', 'fell', and 'stood at'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparisons are attempted and meaning remains clear, but errors in comparison structures, articles, agreement, and punctuation recur.
Check comparative forms and clause boundaries, especially constructions such as 'almost double the figure recorded ten years earlier'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows personal saving as a percentage of personal income for selected countries in 1970, 1990 and 2010. Canada 5.6 11.5 1.9 France 18.7 12.5 13.6 Germany 13.8 11.8 Italy 29.5 17.6 11.4 Japan 12.1 UK 9.2 8.2 11.1 USA 5.5 4.0
Your response
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