The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The table illustrates the sources of the police budget in a particular area of Britain in 2017 and 2018sources of police budget for 2017 and 2018 in a particular area in Britain came from, and the charts show how the money was spent.
Overall, the national government provided the largest amount of money for the police budget in both 2017 and 2018, while other sources, such as grants, contributed the least amount of money toin the police budget in both years. The money from all three sources and the total for the budget increased slightly from 2017 to 2018. In addition, the majority of the money was spent on salaries for officers and staff, while technology accounted for the smallest proportion of expenditure in both years. However, from 2017 to 2018, the proportion of money spent on salaries decreased, while that spent on technology increased.
In detail, the national government contributed £175.5 million175.5m pounds in 2017, which slightly increased to 177.8m pounds in 2018. The amount of money from other sources was 38m pounds in 2017, which also slightly rose to 38.5m pounds in 2018. The money from local taxes ranked in the middle in both years. It stood at 91.2m pounds in 2017 and £102.3 million in 2018.102.3m in 2018. The total budget was 304.7m pounds, rising to 318.6m pounds.
The money spent on salaries accounted for 75% in 2017, which decreased to 69% in 2018. By contrast, the proportion of expenditureexpense on technology rose from 8% in 2017 to 14% in 2018. Furthermore, the percentage of money allocated to buildings and transport remained unchanged at 17% from 2017 to 2018.17% 2017 to 2018.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response provides an exceptionally thorough and clear report of the visual data, featuring an effective overview and well-structured body paragraphs. Key figures and proportions are accurate and fully integrated. To refine performance further, focus on minor grammatical precision in complex introductory structures and ensure prepositions are consistently included in date ranges.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All main trends, data points, and expenditure categories are fully reported with complete accuracy.
Maintain this level of key feature selection and clear comparative detail in future responses.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically across clear paragraphs with cohesive transition words throughout.
Vary cohesive devices further to ensure referencing remains subtle and perfectly natural.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of vocabulary is used flexibly and appropriately to describe financial figures and pie chart proportions.
Continue adopting sophisticated phrasing while ensuring collocations remain fully natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used with strong control, showing only occasional minor errors.
Proofread complex sentences to ensure awkward phrasing or omitted prepositions in time phrases are eliminated.