The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the percentage of USA, Sweden and Japan inhabitants aged 65 and above between a hundred years.
Overall, at the start, America And Sweden had the highest percentage of old adults in their countries, whereas, in the End, Although both increased in the percentile, It was projected That they would both be behind japan which started below them at 100 years ago.
In 1940, the USA had the highest proportion of people aged 65 and overAmerica Had The highest percentage of old aged people at just below 10%, followedFollowed closely by Sweden at around 7%. However, they fluctuated over the years, around the year 2000, there are more old people in Sweden than in the USA. It was projected that by 2040It Was projected That by 2040, Sweden would have the second highest proportion of older peoplepercentile of old people at 25%, below Japanbelow japan at 25%, whileWhile the USA would have the lowest proportionwill have the least at approximately 23%.
At the start, the proportion of people aged 65 or over in Japan (5%) was the lowestthe old adults aged 65 or more living in japan(5%) was the least of the three, about half the USA's percentagealmost half the percentage of the USA Deletewhich was the highest. It remained below 5%relatively below 5% for 60 years untiltill 2000 after which it gradually increased to about double that figurewhen it saw a gradual increase to double that figure. It was predicted that, it Was predicted That by 2040, there would be a dramatic rise in the percentage of people aged 65 and overper cent of old people in Japan, and it would have the highest figureit will hold the highest figure of the three at just above 25%.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response provides a clear overall comparison and correctly identifies Japan as the projected leader by 2040, with generally relevant endpoint figures. Its main limitation is uneven precision: Japan’s mid-period change is compressed inaccurately, while awkward sentence construction and frequent capitalization and agreement errors reduce control. Prioritise tracing each country’s timeline accurately in shorter, grammatically complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main overall trends and 2040 rankings are identified accurately, though Japan’s gradual rise after 2000 and some intermediate movements are reported imprecisely.
Trace Japan’s values more accurately from about 5% in 2000 to 10% around 2030 before its sharp rise to roughly 27% in 2040.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a sensible overview-then-detail structure and groups information by country, but several long comma-linked sentences weaken flow.
Separate each major time comparison into a complete sentence and use connectors only where the relationship is explicit.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing change and prediction, but awkward choices such as between a hundred years, percentile, and old aged reduce precision.
Use consistent terms such as over the 100-year period, proportion, and people aged 65 and over.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex forms are attempted, but frequent capitalization, agreement, tense, article, and sentence-boundary errors limit grammatical control.
Correct subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, then split run-on sentences before checking capitalization and punctuation.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.