The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Sample Response
The graph illustrates the percentage of people aged 65 or overolder than 65 or older in three countries, namely the United States of America, Sweden, and Japan, from 1940 to2040.
In 1940, the proportion of older peoplecontribution of old citizens aged 65 or above in the United States of America and Sweden was around 8% and 760%, respectively. Sweden’s percentage fell slightly between 1980 and 1990increased and remained steady between 1980 and 1990. From 2000 to 2014, it experienced fluctuations; however, it reached 25% at the end of the period. Whereas the United States raised 15% in 1960. From 1980 to 2020During 1980 20-20, it also remained stable, unlike Swedenremained stable same as Sweden. After that, the proportion of older peopleproportion of the old person was almost 20% in 2040, and Japan overtook both countries after 2030both the countries exceeded in 2020.
Turning to Japan, it slightly declined from 1940 to 1960. After this, it remained stablebalanced between 1960 and 1980. In 2020, it dramatically skyrocketed by 16% in approximately 2030. It also surpassed the other two countriescollapsed with other countries like the United States and Sweden. At the end of the periodIn the end period, it reachedgrew around 27% in 2040.
Overall, the percentages in the three nationspercentile of the three nations’ olderPLD citizens rose overallshowed a steady trend but significantly rose over the period, while Japan showeddepicts a slight initial declinea minor change at the starting point.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response is strongest when tracing Japan’s early decline and late surge, and it provides a recognizable country-by-country structure. Its main limitation is inaccurate and unclear reporting, including Sweden at 60% in 1940 and the USA at 15% in 1960, alongside a weak overview. Prioritize checking every figure against the graph and stating the main cross-country trends and final ranking accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response addresses all three countries and notes some trends, but major inaccurate figures and a vague overview weaken task coverage.
Verify each value against the graph and summarize the overall rises, Japan’s late surge, and the countries’ final ranking.
Coherence and Cohesion
The country-based paragraphs provide basic progression, although awkward linking and unclear time references disrupt the flow.
Organize each country’s changes chronologically and connect complete sentences with simple, accurate linking phrases.
Lexical Resource
Some trend vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate choices such as contribution, percentile, and collapsed reduce precision.
Use standard graph language such as proportion, rose, remained stable, surpassed, and reached with the correct grammatical patterns.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent agreement, article, tense, and clause errors sometimes obscure meaning.
Prioritize complete subject-verb sentences and check tense, articles, and singular-plural agreement throughout.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.