The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners.
Sample Response
The pie chart compares the nutritional constituents ( carbohydrates, protein, Glucose, Saturated fats, other nutrients) of two different dinners ( Macaroni and Medium baked potato)
Overall, the value of carbohydrates in both dinners are high. In addition, the medium baked potato had a higher percentage of protein and glucose.
There is a substantial amount of protein and other nutrients present in a medium baked potato. A medium baked potato has a lower percentage of Saturated fats at 10 per cent compared to Macaroni with 21 per cent. The glucose content of both macaroni and medium baked potato stood at 11 per cent and 15 per cent, respectively. While other nutrients in macaroni recorded a lower percentage of 5 per cent, medium baked potato had 11 per cent.
Carbohydrates have a higher percentage in both dinners. Medium baked potato had a low carbohydrate but still took a larger part of the meal at 35 per cent while Macaroni had more than a quarter, 52 per cent. In contrast, medium baked potato has more protein than macaroni at 25 per cent and 11 per cent, respectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix list form Original: ( carbohydrates, protein, Glucose, Saturated fats, other nutrients) Suggested revision: (carbohydrates, protein, glucose, saturated fat and other nutrients) Why it matters: Use consistent lowercase category names, the singular uncountable form, and a conjunction in the list.
- 2. Fix dish names Original: ( Macaroni and Medium baked potato) Suggested revision: (macaroni and a medium baked potato). Why it matters: Use lowercase common nouns, add the missing article, and close the sentence with a full stop.
- 3. Fix agreement Original: the value of carbohydrates in both dinners are high Suggested revision: the proportion of carbohydrates in both dinners is high Why it matters: The singular head noun “proportion” requires “is” and describes pie-chart shares precisely.
- 4. Keep tense consistent Original: had Suggested revision: has Why it matters: Use the present tense consistently when describing a static chart.
- 5. Use category name Original: of Saturated fats at Suggested revision: of saturated fat at Why it matters: The chart category is the uncountable noun phrase “saturated fat.”
- 6. Improve comparison Original: compared to Macaroni Suggested revision: compared with macaroni Why it matters: “Compared with” is the clearer form for a direct statistical comparison.
- 7. Use precise verb Original: stood at 11 per cent and 15 per cent Suggested revision: accounted for 11 per cent and 15 per cent Why it matters: “Accounted for” describes proportions in a pie chart more naturally.
- 8. Fix sentence structure Original: While other nutrients in macaroni recorded Suggested revision: Other nutrients in macaroni accounted for Why it matters: Remove the unsupported subordinate opener and use a verb that can take the percentage as its complement.
- 9. Correct nutrient figure Original: medium baked potato had 11 per cent Suggested revision: a medium baked potato had 15 per cent Why it matters: The chart shows other nutrients at 15 per cent for the baked potato.
- 10. State key feature Original: Carbohydrates have a higher percentage Suggested revision: Carbohydrates make up the largest proportion Why it matters: The chart shows carbohydrates as the largest category in each dinner.
- 11. Use proportion wording Original: Medium baked potato had a low carbohydrate Suggested revision: A medium baked potato had a lower proportion of carbohydrates Why it matters: A food does not have “a carbohydrate” when the intended meaning is its relative share.
- 12. Clarify largest share Original: still took a larger part of the meal Suggested revision: still formed its largest component Why it matters: This wording clearly identifies carbohydrates as the potato dinner’s largest component.
Suggested Rewrites
- ( carbohydrates, protein, Glucose, Saturated fats, other nutrients) (carbohydrates, protein, glucose, saturated fat and other nutrients)
- ( Macaroni and Medium baked potato) (macaroni and a medium baked potato).
- the value of carbohydrates in both dinners are high the proportion of carbohydrates in both dinners is high
- had has
- of Saturated fats at of saturated fat at
- compared to Macaroni compared with macaroni
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear organization and broad coverage of all five nutrients, with a useful overview of the main contrasts between the dinners. Its main limitation is precision: the baked potato's other-nutrient share is misstated, and some comparisons are expressed inaccurately or awkwardly. Prioritize checking every percentage against the charts and describing relative size precisely, especially that 52% is more than half.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and mostly accurate comparisons cover the main features, but the baked potato's other nutrients are incorrectly reported as 11% rather than 15%.
Verify every figure and describe major proportions precisely, including macaroni's 52% carbohydrate share as more than half.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from an overview to grouped details, although repetition and a few awkward transitions reduce fluency.
Group the data around the clearest contrasts and avoid restating the same point about carbohydrates in separate paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the task, but phrases such as 'value of carbohydrates' and 'had a low carbohydrate' are imprecise.
Use accurate proportion language such as 'carbohydrates accounted for 35%' and 'the carbohydrate share was lower.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys meaning, though agreement, article, punctuation, and tense errors recur.
Maintain consistent present tense and check agreement in phrases such as 'the proportion of carbohydrates is high.'
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.