The graphs below show the prison population in a European country between 1911 and 2001.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The line charts illustrate the population of prisoners by genderwith different genders in a European country from 1911 to 2001
Overall, it is obvious that the number of male prisoners witnessed an upward trend while that of female prisoners decreased in general; moreover, malegeneral. And male prisoners accounted for the largest proportion of the total prison population.
In detail, the number of male prisoners remained steady at approximately 20,000stabilized at 20,000 between 1911 and 1921 before decreasing to roughly 9,000 in 1931. In 1944, it increased to 20,000 and leveled out in the following two decades, after which it surged to 50,000 by 2001
When it comes to the population of female prisoners, it was smaller than that of males, declining from 4,000 to 7007,00 from 1911 to 1944. Then, it rose to 1,400 in 1961 before falling to roughly 800 in 1971.before dropping to 1,000. Between 1971 and 2001, it registered an upward trend to around 2,3002,900
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report effectively structures the overall trends with a clear summary paragraph and good paragraph organization. However, data inaccuracies in reading the charts and typographical errors weaken the descriptive accuracy and grammar control. To improve, double-check numerical figures against graph scales precisely and ensure full punctuation and formatting accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview is included, but key figures contain data inaccuracies such as stating the male population reached 20,000 in 1944.
Carefully cross-check data values against the axis markings to ensure all quoted figures are accurate.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically with clear paragraphing, though opening a sentence with an informal conjunction slightly affects the flow.
Use formal transition words instead of starting sentences with conjunctions like 'And' to maintain an academic tone.
Lexical Resource
A good range of dynamic vocabulary is used to describe trends, despite minor typographical errors.
Proofread number formats carefully to avoid errors such as '7,00' when writing numerical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures show good variety and control overall, though missing sentence-ending punctuation occurs.
Ensure every sentence concludes with proper punctuation to maintain consistently strong mechanical control.