The table gives statistics showing the aspects of quality of life in five countries.
Sample Response
The table illustrates the information regarding the statistics of five countries in order to demonstrate the quality of life.
Overall, the USA has the highest quality of life as compared to other Nation in terms of GNP per head, daily calorie supply, and yearly life expectancy, Whereas Bangladesh has the lowest quality of a life. Moreover, in the USA infant mortality rate is lower due to high-quality Lifestyle, while in Bangladesh motility rate of in infant is highest.
In Bangladesh, the quality of life is lower as compared to other countries. Bangladesh had 140 US dollars GNP per head and 1877 daily calorie supply per head In 1982. the birth year is 40 years in Bangladesh and the rate of infant mortality is higher, with 132 infant mortality per 1000 live births. On the opposite side, the USA had the highest GNP rate(13160 US dollars) per head and daily calorie supply (3653) per head. The life expectancy is also higher, which is around 74 years. The infant mortality rate is lower in the USA. Bolivia and Indonesia had an equal GNP rate, daily calorie supply rate, and life expectancy rate. But, in terms of infant mortality Bolivia (124 )had a high mortality rate as compared to Indonesia(87). After the USA, Egypt is the second topmost country in the aspects of a quality lifestyle.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: illustrates the information regarding the statistics Suggested revision: presents statistics Why it matters: This concise verb phrase states the table's purpose more naturally.
- 2. Fix number and article Original: other Nation Suggested revision: the other nations Why it matters: The comparison refers to several specified countries, so a plural noun with the definite article is needed.
- 3. Use table terminology Original: yearly life expectancy Suggested revision: life expectancy at birth Why it matters: This is the precise label used for the measure in the table.
- 4. Continue the sentence Original: Whereas Suggested revision: whereas Why it matters: After the comma, this subordinate conjunction should not begin with a capital letter.
- 5. Remove incorrect article Original: quality of a life Suggested revision: quality of life Why it matters: Quality of life is a fixed uncountable expression here.
- 6. Name the measure accurately Original: the birth year is 40 years Suggested revision: life expectancy at birth is 40 years Why it matters: The figure describes life expectancy at birth, not a birth year.
- 7. Use the correct unit Original: with 132 infant mortality per 1000 live births Suggested revision: at 132 deaths per 1,000 live births Why it matters: Mortality is expressed as deaths per 1,000 live births.
- 8. Use a clear contrast Original: On the opposite side Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: This transition introduces the opposing USA figures more directly.
- 9. Format the measure clearly Original: GNP rate(13160 US dollars) per head Suggested revision: GNP per head of 13,160 US dollars Why it matters: The revision uses the correct measure name and presents the value clearly.
- 10. Clarify the calorie figure Original: daily calorie supply (3653) per head Suggested revision: daily calorie supply per head of 3,653 calories Why it matters: This states both the per-person basis and the unit of the figure.
- 11. Report the exact value Original: which is around 74 years Suggested revision: at exactly 74 years Why it matters: The table gives an exact value of 74 rather than an approximation.
- 12. Improve the transition Original: But, in terms of infant mortality Suggested revision: However, in terms of infant mortality, Why it matters: However introduces the contrast formally and the introductory phrase needs closing punctuation.
Suggested Rewrites
- illustrates the information regarding the statistics presents statistics
- other Nation the other nations
- yearly life expectancy life expectancy at birth
- Whereas whereas
- quality of a life quality of life
- the birth year is 40 years life expectancy at birth is 40 years
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response provides a clear overview of the strongest and weakest countries and supports it with several accurate figures for Bangladesh and the USA. Its main limitation is uneven and sometimes inaccurate coverage of the other countries, especially the claim that Bolivia and Indonesia share three equal measures. The highest priority is to compare all five countries selectively and verify every reported relationship against the table.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several accurate extreme values address the task, but intermediate countries receive limited coverage and one major comparison is inaccurate.
Compare Egypt, Bolivia, and Indonesia accurately, noting that only Bolivia and Indonesia's GNP figures are equal while their calorie and life-expectancy figures differ.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses from an overview to supporting figures, though the long final paragraph and some mechanical linking weaken the organisation.
Divide the details into two logically grouped paragraphs and use direct comparative sentences instead of repetitive transitions.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to describe the data, but frequent awkward or inaccurate choices such as birth year, motility rate, and topmost reduce precision.
Use standard statistical expressions such as life expectancy, infant mortality rate, highest figure, and lowest figure consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms communicates the main meaning, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, capitalisation, and punctuation reduce control.
Proofread each sentence for article use and sentence boundaries, especially around country names, figures, and contrast clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table gives statistics showing the aspects of quality of life in five countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.