The following table gives statistics showing the aspects of quality of life in five countries.
Sample Response
The table uses four economic indicators to show the standard of living in five selected countries in 1982. Overall, it can be seen that the quality of life in the USA was far higher than the other four countries. To begin, the USA, which is a developed country, had the highest GNP at 13,160 dollars per head. It also had a much higher daily calorie intake and life expectancy, and the lowest rate of infant mortality, at only 12 per 1000 live births. Quality of life was much lower for the other four countries. The indicators for Egypt, Indonesia and Bolivia were fairly similar, with their GNP ranging from 570 to 690 and daily calories in the 2000s. Life expectancy was also almost the same, although Bolivia had much worse infant mortality at 124 per 1000. Bangladesh had by far the lowest quality of life in all the indicators. Its GNP per head was approximately one percent of the USA’s. Its calorie intake and life expectancy were about half those of the USA, and its infant mortality rate was 11 times greater.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Broaden indicator label Original: four economic indicators Suggested revision: four quality-of-life indicators Why it matters: Life expectancy and infant mortality are not economic indicators, so this broader label is more accurate.
- 2. Match task wording Original: standard of living Suggested revision: quality of life Why it matters: This wording matches the aspect measured by the table more precisely.
- 3. Use direct reporting Original: it can be seen that Suggested revision: the data show that Why it matters: A direct reporting phrase is more concise and appropriately academic.
- 4. Remove unsupported detail Original: , which is a developed country, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The table does not classify countries by development status, so this outside detail is unnecessary.
- 5. Use chart label Original: intake Suggested revision: supply Why it matters: The table reports calorie supply rather than measured consumption.
- 6. Give precise range Original: daily calories in the 2000s Suggested revision: daily calorie supplies ranging from 2,086 to 2,950 Why it matters: The exact range makes the comparison among these three countries more informative.
- 7. State numerical direction Original: much worse infant mortality Suggested revision: a much higher infant mortality rate Why it matters: Higher is the precise comparative term for the larger recorded rate.
- 8. Separate overview and details Suggested revision: Divide the response into an introduction, a distinct overview, and detail paragraphs grouping the USA separately from the other countries. Why it matters: The entire report currently appears as one paragraph, which obscures its otherwise clear progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- four economic indicators four quality-of-life indicators
- standard of living quality of life
- it can be seen that the data show that
- , which is a developed country, Delete
- intake supply
- daily calories in the 2000s daily calorie supplies ranging from 2,086 to 2,950
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear overview and selects the most meaningful contrasts, supporting them with accurate figures and effective proportional comparisons. Its main weakness is limited precision in calling all four measures economic indicators and in grouping several middle-ranking countries somewhat broadly. To improve further, distinguish the social and economic measures accurately and add one or two sharper comparisons among Egypt, Indonesia, and Bolivia.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview, accurate figures, and well-selected proportional comparisons cover the principal features very effectively.
Label the social and economic measures accurately and compare the middle-ranking countries in slightly greater detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses clearly from the overview to the leading country, the middle group, and the lowest-performing country.
Use distinct overview and detail paragraphs to make the already logical grouping even easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
Comparative and statistical vocabulary is varied and precise, apart from describing all four measures as economic indicators.
Differentiate economic and social indicators explicitly and reduce repetition of quality of life where possible.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of simple and complex structures is handled accurately, with consistently clear sentence control.
Refine occasional noun-category phrasing while maintaining the strong control of complex comparisons.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The following table gives statistics showing the aspects of quality of life in five countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.