The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
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Sample Response
The two charts present a variety of factors that cause people to leave the UK and that attract others to stay.
Overall, people who left the UK for the quality of life made up the largest share of the total, while those who departeddepart for other places to joindue to joining their family and friends accounted for the smallest proportion. Regarding reasons why citizens stay in the UK, the percentage citingof quality of life was the highest figure, while the proportion choosingof weather represented the lowest one.
Looking at the first pie chart about why some people left Britain, the quality of life constituted the highest proportion of the total among the five influencing factors, 12 percentage points14 percent points higher than weather. Financial resources took up 20% of the total, followed by employment(15%). The smallest share was getting together with family and friends.
The second pie chart showsshowed a pattern broadly similar towith the first one Deleteto some extent. 40% of people who chose to stay in the UK citedwere aimed at pursuing quality of life, which comprised the largest proportion. The second most common factor wasThe second largest percentage was those who valued financial resources, with 30%, more than double30%. more than doubled the figure for employment(13%). The remaining factors wereare nearly identical. The percentage of people who preferred to join family and friends and those who chose weathertreasured domestic employment recorded 10% and 7% respectively.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay accurately identifies major trends across both charts and provides a logically structured overview comparing reasons for leaving and staying in the UK. Its main strength lies in coherent paragraph arrangement and effective comparative vocabulary, while minor numerical miscalculations and punctuation faults slightly diminish precision. The main priority is ensuring precise data calculations and refining sentence punctuation around clause boundaries.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report provides a clear overall summary and highlights key data points from both pie charts effectively.
Double-check numerical calculations to ensure comparisons, such as percentage point differences between categories, are exact.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information and key comparisons are logically grouped into clear paragraphs with appropriate linking terms.
Vary connective phrases slightly across paragraphs to avoid repeating similar comparative structures.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary and percentage collocations is used flexibly throughout the response.
Ensure appropriate word choices and formatting by adding proper spacing before parentheses and using terms like 'percentage points' correctly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted with good overall control, though a few punctuation and sentence boundary errors occur.
Proofread for sentence fragments and punctuation errors, particularly when joining relative clauses or prepositional phrases.