The charts below show the reasons for migration to and from one European country in 2009.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The two pie charts compare the reasons for migration to and from one European country in 2009.
Overall, a definite job clearly dominated the reasons for immigrants from a European country, while family was the most common reason for immigrants to a European country. Having 'no reason stated'No reason made up the smallest share of both charts.
Regarding immigration to the country,In the first chart, 25% of the immigrants chose to migrate to a European country for family reasonsbecause of their family reasons. By contrast, for the immigrants from a European country, only 15% left for family reasonsthe family reasons, 10 percentagepercantage points lower than the proportion of incoming migrantsthan the others. Furthermore, 15% of the immigrantsimmagrants cited other reasons for moving to the European countryconsidered other reasons to a European country, which stood higherincreased sharply to 23% for those who migrated from a European country.
Turning to work-related factors,A closer look at the second chart shows that 38% of the immigrants from a European country wanted to get a definite job, 15 percentage points higher than the figure of those to the European countryto European country. Moreover, both chartsboth of the two charts illustrated that noon reason was the lowest, the immigrants to a European country only accounted for 7% and emigrants citing this factor accounted for only 4%the other even made up a share of 4%.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report effectively highlights the main key features and comparisons from both charts, supported by an overview. However, accuracy is slightly compromised by confusing terminology such as referring to emigrants as 'immigrants from'. To improve performance, refine precision in terminology and carefully proofread to eliminate minor spelling and grammatical typos.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurate numerical details comparing key categories across both charts.
Use precise terminology such as distinguish 'immigrants' from 'emigrants' to describe movement to and from a country accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into paragraphs with clear comparisons between the incoming and outgoing data.
Vary connective phrases and ensure smooth transitions between statistical observations.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the visual information, though repetitive phrasing and minor spelling slips occur.
Correct spelling errors such as 'percantage' and 'immagrants' while expanding range for proportional data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used with good control of comparative language.
Proofread carefully to eliminate minor typographical and grammatical slips like 'on reason' instead of 'no reason'.