The graph and table below show the number of fishers in millions for different regions in 1980, 1990, and 2000, and the world's top exporters of fish in 2000.
Sample Response
The column graph gives the number of fishers in five different regions in three decades- 1980, 1990 and 2000, while the table lists down the globally top ten fish exporting countries in 2000. Overall, the number of fishermen in Asia soared over the period and Thailand, Norway and the USA was the top three fish exporters in 2000. Now turning to the details, there were nearly 9 million fishers in Asia in 1980 which was almost double than the combined number of fishers in Africa, America and Europe. Asian population who lived on fishing increased by roughly four million in the next decade while a marginal growth could be observed in the case of other areas except in Europe where the number of fishers actually dropped. In 1990, fishers number in Africa, South America, North America and Europe was less than a million and during the next decade, these numbers remained almost the same except in Europe that witnessed a fractional jump. On the contrary, the number of fishermen in Asia dramatically upsurged and stood at just over 23 million which was overwhelmingly greater than the number of fishers in other parts of the world. The table presents that, in 2000, Thailand was the top exporter of fish globally and the second and third position of this list were held by Norway and the USA despite their remarkably fewer number of fishermen than Asia. The fourth, seventh and tenth positions of the top ten fish exporting countries were occupied by four Asian countries while the rest were held by other non-Asian countries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name time points Original: in three decades- Suggested revision: in three years: Why it matters: The graph presents three individual years rather than three decades of data.
- 2. Remove phrasal error Original: lists down Suggested revision: lists Why it matters: List is transitive here and does not take down.
- 3. Fix word order Original: globally Suggested revision: world’s Why it matters: World’s top ten is the natural attributive phrase.
- 4. Use plural agreement Original: was Suggested revision: were Why it matters: The coordinated subject Thailand, Norway and the USA requires a plural verb.
- 5. Name measured group Original: Asian population who lived on fishing Suggested revision: The number of fishers in Asia Why it matters: The graph measures fishers, not the broader Asian population or how people lived.
- 6. Use direct trend wording Original: a marginal growth could be observed Suggested revision: marginal growth occurred Why it matters: The direct active wording is clearer and more concise.
- 7. Use chart term Original: in the case of other areas Suggested revision: in the other regions Why it matters: Regions is the category term used by the task.
- 8. Add clause comma Original: except in Europe where Suggested revision: except in Europe, where Why it matters: A comma should introduce this non-defining relative clause.
- 9. Use valid contrast Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: By contrast compares Asia with the previously described regions without implying a contradiction.
- 10. Use natural trend verb Original: dramatically upsurged Suggested revision: rose dramatically Why it matters: Rose dramatically is the natural collocation for a sharp numerical increase.
- 11. Add relative-clause comma Original: 23 million which Suggested revision: 23 million, which Why it matters: The following relative clause adds non-essential information and needs a comma.
- 12. Use precise comparison Original: overwhelmingly greater than Suggested revision: far higher than Why it matters: Far higher than is a concise quantitative comparison.
Suggested Rewrites
- in three decades- in three years:
- lists down lists
- globally world’s
- was were
- Asian population who lived on fishing The number of fishers in Asia
- a marginal growth could be observed marginal growth occurred
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response identifies the dominant rise in Asian fishers and accurately names the three leading exporters, while maintaining a generally clear progression from the graph to the table. However, several supporting comparisons misread the visuals, especially the regional values in 1990 and the positions held by Asian exporters. The priority is to check every quantitative statement against both visuals and report fewer, fully accurate comparisons in more controlled language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The main trends and leading exporters are identified, but several details are inaccurate, including the 1990 regional figures and Asian rankings.
Verify values and ranks directly, noting that Africa and South America exceed one million in 1990 and Indonesia is ninth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves logically from an overview to the regional graph and then the exporter table, with generally clear progression.
Use distinct paragraphs for the overview and details, and avoid mechanical signposting such as 'Now turning to the details'.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary for change and comparison is varied, but some expressions are unnatural, including 'fishers number' and 'dramatically upsurged'.
Prefer precise collocations such as 'the number of fishers rose sharply' and 'the table shows'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used with some control, although agreement, article, comparison, and relative-clause errors occur repeatedly.
Check subject-verb agreement and plural forms, then simplify comparison sentences to reduce avoidable grammatical errors.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph and table below show the number of fishers in millions for different regions in 1980, 1990, and 2000, and the world's top exporters of fish in 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.