The chart below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six science-related subjects at a UK university in 2009.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The numbersproportions of research students, both male and female, who were studying in six different science-related subjectsscience courses at a UK university in 2009 are revealed in the form of a bar chartin the form of bar chart. All in all, the proportions of male research students in Physics, Astronomy and Geology were much higher than the female research students while more female were engaged in Veterinary Medicine than that of males. Looking at the details, it is clearLooking at the detail it is clear that the number of male students was higher than the number of female studentsthe number of male students was always more than the women, except in Veterinary Medicinethe research class of Veterinary Medicine. The gap between the number of male and female students was greatestis most visible in Physicsin Physics subject in which there were more than 200 male students compared with only 40 female studentsagainst the only 40 female students. Interestingly, the numbers of women students who took Veterinary Medicine was higher than the men, nonetheless. In this subjectfaculty, the number of male research studentsthe proportion of men scholars was about 80nearly a hundred, about 30 fewer than the number of womenjust a couple of tens less than the women. The highestHighest number of research students waswere in Biology while the lowest number of studentsthat students could be observed in Veterinary Medicine. In summary, female research students in the UK in 2009 preferred Biology, Medicine and Veterinary Medicine while male research students mostly preferred Biology, Physics, and Medicine.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response identifies the main gender pattern accurately, including the exceptional result in Veterinary Medicine and the especially large gap in Physics. Its main limitation is uneven precision: it repeatedly calls student numbers proportions, gives few figures for most subjects, and uses preference language that the chart does not establish. Prioritise accurate quantity terms and support the overview with grouped comparisons across all six subjects.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview selects the central gender contrast and the key exceptions accurately, but detailed coverage is limited and some interpretations overreach the chart.
Describe numbers rather than proportions or preferences and add grouped figures for Astronomy, Geology, Biology, and Medicine.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a recognisable overview-to-detail progression, though the single block and repeated overview-style statements weaken organisation.
Separate the overview from two focused detail paragraphs and avoid repeating broad conclusions at the end.
Lexical Resource
There is a useful range of subject and comparison vocabulary, but several choices are imprecise or unnatural for chart reporting.
Replace phrases such as engaged, men scholars, and research class with precise terms such as studied, male students, and subject.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the comparisons clearly, despite recurring agreement, article, and comparison-form errors.
Check number agreement and compare like with like, especially in constructions involving the number of students.