The chart shows ways that schoolchildren get to school in three different countries.
Sample Response
The chart illustrates the various alternatives learners prefer to visit in school in three different nations.
Overall, it is immediately apparent from the chart that the Car was the highest mode of transport used by students for their school, while the school bus is also popular among the children they travel to visiting in a school in the USA.
In detail, the maximum number of students like to travel by Car for their school with shares at 40 in the USA, but in the UK this number get declined by one and total of 39 learners opted the bus transport for their journey. Following this, in Australia, this value gets decreased to 25. moreover, schoolbus also has a positive trend among the schoolchildren which accounted at 37 in the USA, and this trend turns into negative with shares at 24 in the UK but in Australia 31 children visiting in school by bus.
Furthermore, those students who prefer to go to school by bicycle and walk have the same amount of value at five in the USA. However, in Australia, eight children use a bike for their school. In the UK this number was reduced by 2. next, 19 of students visit the school by their feet in Australia. This ratio sink to 15 in the UK.it is interesting to note that the least number of students travel to school by other methods which ratio at six in Australia and four in both countries, the USA and UK.whilst, 11 several children preferred public transport in Australia. However, in the USA this number move down to nine.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise category term Original: various alternatives Suggested revision: various modes of transport Why it matters: The chart compares transport modes rather than general alternatives.
- 2. Correct travel expression Original: learners prefer to visit in school Suggested revision: schoolchildren use to travel to school Why it matters: The original verb pattern does not express travelling to school correctly.
- 3. Use simple present Original: this value gets decreased Suggested revision: this figure decreases Why it matters: A simple present verb is appropriate for describing the chart.
- 4. Use concise data noun Original: same amount of value Suggested revision: same figure Why it matters: Figure is the natural noun for two equal chart values.
- 5. Express the comparison Original: was reduced by 2 Suggested revision: was two lower Why it matters: The chart shows a difference between countries rather than a process of reduction.
- 6. Capitalize the transition Original: next Suggested revision: Next Why it matters: This transition begins a new sentence and requires a capital letter.
- 7. Remove incorrect preposition Original: 19 of students Suggested revision: 19 students Why it matters: A number directly modifies the plural count noun here.
- 8. Use natural expression Original: by their feet Suggested revision: on foot Why it matters: On foot is the standard expression for walking as transport.
- 9. Correct noun and verb Original: This ratio sink Suggested revision: This figure falls Why it matters: Figure fits a chart value and the singular subject requires falls.
- 10. Complete the comparison phrase Original: which ratio at six Suggested revision: with a figure of six Why it matters: The replacement supplies a grammatical phrase for the Australian value.
- 11. Name both countries clearly Original: both countries, the USA and UK Suggested revision: the USA and the UK Why it matters: The article is needed before UK and the redundant label can be removed.
- 12. Remove conflicting quantity Original: 11 several children Suggested revision: 11 children Why it matters: Several cannot modify a noun already quantified by an exact number.
Suggested Rewrites
- various alternatives various modes of transport
- learners prefer to visit in school schoolchildren use to travel to school
- this value gets decreased this figure decreases
- same amount of value same figure
- was reduced by 2 was two lower
- next Next
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response reports nearly all categories and most figures accurately, with sensible grouping by the two dominant modes and the remaining options. Its overview does not clearly summarize the main cross-country patterns, while frequent awkward wording, agreement errors, and faulty sentence boundaries make comparisons harder to follow. Prioritize a precise overview and use simple, grammatically complete comparative sentences throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most figures and transport categories are covered accurately, but the overview identifies only a limited USA-focused pattern and misses the clearest contrasts among the countries.
Summarize that cars dominate in the USA and UK, school buses lead in Australia, and walking is far more common in Australia and the UK than in the USA.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is broadly logical, but mechanical linking, unclear references such as 'this value,' and faulty sentence boundaries weaken the flow.
Group the dominant modes and less common modes clearly, then use one complete comparative sentence for each related set of figures.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe modes and comparisons, but frequent inappropriate collocations such as 'visit in school,' 'positive trend,' and 'by their feet' reduce precision.
Use standard chart language such as 'travel to school,' 'accounted for,' 'fell to,' and 'went on foot.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, prepositions, capitalization, and punctuation occur throughout.
Prioritize accurate subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries before attempting long multi-clause comparisons.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart shows ways that schoolchildren get to school in three different countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.