The bar chart below shows Scotland’s exports to the rest of the UK and the rest of the world for the year 2014. Scotland’s Export to the Rest of the UK and the Rest of the World – 2014.
Sample Response
The bar graph reveals data on Scotland’s export revenue to the United Kingdom as well as rest of the world in 2014. Overall, the highest export earning for Scotland came from ‘business service including hotels’ and ‘chemical & mineral products’ while the UK was the largest market for Electrical and instrument engineering goods manufactured by Scotland. According to the bar graph, Scotland’s total export revenue in 2014 was roughly 75 billion pound and approximately 21 billion of this revenue came from the UK. Food & drink, chemical & mineral, electrical instruments and business service brought 4.4, 5, 4 and 1.7 billion export revenue respectively from the UK. Those industries generated 5.8, 9.5, 2.3 and 13.8 billion pounds earning consequentially for Scotland in 2014 from the global export except the UK. Scotland generated the highest export figure from business service with over 15 billion pounds while the second highest came from chemical and mineral industry. Export amount from the UK in engineering industry (4 billion) exceeded the global export earning while Scotland earned the least revenue from the ‘agriculture, forestry, fishing and mining’ industries. The UK was its largest market for food, chemical and engineering products.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add missing article Original: as well as rest of the world Suggested revision: as well as the rest of the world Why it matters: The fixed expression requires the definite article before “rest”.
- 2. Use plural earnings Original: earning Suggested revision: earnings Why it matters: “Earnings” is the natural countable noun for revenue from multiple export categories.
- 3. Match category label Original: ‘business service including hotels’ Suggested revision: ‘business services and finance, hotels and restaurant services’ Why it matters: The chart combines business and finance with hotel and restaurant services in this category.
- 4. Use lowercase category Original: Electrical Suggested revision: electrical Why it matters: A common category name does not need an initial capital letter within the sentence.
- 5. Pluralise currency unit Original: pound Suggested revision: pounds Why it matters: The currency unit must be plural after a number greater than one.
- 6. Clarify revenue figures Original: brought 4.4, 5, 4 and 1.7 billion export revenue respectively Suggested revision: generated £4.4, £5, £4 and £1.7 billion in export revenue respectively Why it matters: “Generated” and explicit currency markers express these four revenue figures precisely.
- 7. Fix comparison wording Original: 5.8, 9.5, 2.3 and 13.8 billion pounds earning consequentially Suggested revision: £5.8, £9.5, £2.3 and £13.8 billion in export earnings respectively Why it matters: “Respectively” correctly links the four industries to the four figures.
- 8. Name market accurately Original: from the global export except the UK Suggested revision: from exports to the rest of the world Why it matters: The chart labels this market as the rest of the world rather than a global export excluding the UK.
- 9. Open more directly Original: The bar graph reveals data on Suggested revision: The bar chart presents Why it matters: A direct reporting verb is more concise and accurately names the visual type.
- 10. Name UK market precisely Original: to the United Kingdom Suggested revision: to the rest of the UK Why it matters: The chart excludes Scotland itself and specifically reports exports to the rest of the UK.
- 11. Match category wording Original: ‘chemical & mineral products’ Suggested revision: ‘chemicals and mineral products’ Why it matters: Writing out the category label improves precision and formality.
- 12. Describe exports directly Original: manufactured Suggested revision: exported Why it matters: The chart measures exported goods rather than establishing where every good was manufactured.
Suggested Rewrites
- as well as rest of the world as well as the rest of the world
- earning earnings
- ‘business service including hotels’ ‘business services and finance, hotels and restaurant services’
- Electrical electrical
- pound pounds
- brought 4.4, 5, 4 and 1.7 billion export revenue respectively generated £4.4, £5, £4 and £1.7 billion in export revenue respectively
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a clear overview and several useful figures, with generally logical movement from totals to category comparisons. Its main limitation is uneven task coverage: several industries receive little detail, and the claim that the UK was the larger market for food and chemical products contradicts the chart. Prioritise accurate cross-market comparisons and cover a broader, representative set of categories while separating the overview and details into paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several accurate figures demonstrate good selection, but category coverage is uneven and the final comparison for food and chemicals is inaccurate.
Compare the UK and rest-of-world values accurately across a wider representative range, including wholesale, other manufacturing, and the smallest sector.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview and totals to individual sectors, although presenting everything in one paragraph weakens organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the overview and detailed comparisons, and group sectors by similar export patterns.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but recurring awkward collocations such as “export earning” and “pounds earning” reduce precision.
Use natural combinations such as “export earnings,” “revenue of £5 billion,” and “exports to the rest of the world.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys meaning clearly, despite recurring article, plural, and noun-form errors.
Check countable forms and articles carefully, especially in phrases such as “the rest of the world,” “billions of pounds,” and “the engineering industry.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart below shows Scotland’s exports to the rest of the UK and the rest of the world for the year 2014. Scotland’s Export to the Rest of the UK and the Rest of the World – 2014.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.