The table below shows the salaries of secondary/high school teachers in 2009.
Sample Response
The table compares secondary and high school teachers’ salaries in five countries in 2009.
Overall, while teachers in Luxembourg were the most well-paid, teachers from Australia were the lowest-paid. In addition, the amount of time it took for a teacher in Denmark to earn the maximum salary was much faster than most other countries.
Secondary and high school teachers in Luxembourg were paid a starting salary of $80,000 a year, while the figure for teachers in Denmark was significantly lower, at $45,000. Additionally, the starting salary for an inexperienced teacher in other countries stood at around $30,000.
However, teachers with at least 15 years of experience in Luxembourg earned up to $119,000 a year, while teachers in Denmark and Japan with the same level of experience only made salaries of $54,000 and $65,000 respectively. Meanwhile, Australian and Korean teachers with at least 15 years’ experience were paid the lowest salaries, at $48,000 a year. Also worth noting is that it only took teachers in Australia and Denmark less than 10 years to receive their maximum salary, while teachers in the other countries had to wait for at least 30 years.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise comparison Original: most well-paid Suggested revision: best-paid Why it matters: Best-paid is the more natural superlative form in this comparison.
- 2. Use location preposition Original: from Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The table compares employment conditions in countries, so in is the precise preposition.
- 3. Match the table heading Original: at least 15 years of experience Suggested revision: 15 years of experience Why it matters: The column reports salaries after exactly 15 years rather than after an unspecified minimum period.
- 4. Separate salary columns Original: earned up to $119,000 Suggested revision: earned $119,000 Why it matters: The figure is the salary after 15 years, not Luxembourg's maximum salary.
- 5. Use natural salary verb Original: only made salaries of Suggested revision: earned Why it matters: Earned expresses salary amounts more naturally and concisely.
- 6. Use exact timeframe Original: with at least 15 years’ experience Suggested revision: with 15 years’ experience Why it matters: The data refer specifically to the salary after 15 years.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: In addition, the amount of time it took for a teacher in Denmark to earn the maximum salary was much faster than most other countries. Suggested revision: In addition, teachers in Denmark reached their maximum salary sooner than teachers in the other countries. Why it matters: A period of time can be shorter, while people can reach a salary sooner.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Also worth noting is that it only took teachers in Australia and Denmark less than 10 years to receive their maximum salary, while teachers in the other countries had to wait for at least 30 years. Suggested revision: Teachers in Denmark and Australia reached their maximum salaries after 8 and 9 years respectively, whereas those in Luxembourg, Japan and Korea took at least 30 years. Why it matters: The rewrite reports the exact short timeframes and names the countries in the comparison.
- 9. Report maximum salaries Suggested revision: Distinguish the after-15-years figures from the maximum salaries and add the maxima of 132,000 for Luxembourg, 86,000 for Japan and 62,000 for Korea. Why it matters: The paragraph currently leaves several maximum-salary values unreported and risks conflating them with the 15-year column.
Suggested Rewrites
- most well-paid best-paid
- from in
- at least 15 years of experience 15 years of experience
- earned up to $119,000 earned $119,000
- only made salaries of earned
- with at least 15 years’ experience with 15 years’ experience
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response is highly effective: it presents a clear overview, selects almost all of the decisive comparisons, and uses fluent, well-controlled language. Its main limitation is that the maximum-salary column is discussed mainly through the years needed to reach it, leaving several maximum figures unstated. The highest-priority improvement is to include one concise comparison of those maximum salaries while preserving the current clarity and economy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and supporting comparisons are accurate and well selected, though several maximum-salary figures are omitted.
Add a concise comparison of the maximum salaries, especially Japan and Korea, to cover the table more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into a clear overview and focused detail paragraphs with smooth progression.
Use contrast markers only where the relationship is genuinely contrastive, particularly at the start of the final paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural overall, with strong control of salary and comparison language.
Prefer the more idiomatic 'highest-paid' to 'most well-paid' for maximum precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only minor awkwardness in isolated comparisons.
Refine comparative phrasing such as the time taken being 'shorter' rather than 'faster'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the salaries of secondary/high school teachers in 2009.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.