The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
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Sample Response
The line graph compares the numberamount of shops that closed and the numberamount of new shops that opened over a period of 87 years.
Overall, it is clear that the number of shop closures was generally higher than that of shop openings for most of the periodat most of time the openings amount of shop higher than the amount of shop closures. However, both categorieswhat is similar is both of them experienced fluctuating changes over the period shown.
In 2011, the number of shopshops openings was almost 2000 higher than the number of shop closures, which up to around 8,500ground 7500 while the other one up to approximately 6500. Just one yearyears later, the amount of shops openings dramatically declined to 4000, but then rose back to around 6000 over the next 2 yearsin next 2 years. By contrast, the number of shop closures continued to fluctuate around 6500 between 2011 andto 2014.
In 2014, the number of shopshops closures and openings both experienced a decline. The amount of shop openings dropped to 4,000 in 2015, hovered around this level until 2017, and then declined to 3,000 in 2018fell to 4000, and remained at this level for the rest of of the period. The amount of shop closures sharply descendedsharpply descent from 6500 to around 600800, 3500 lower than the number of shop openings, and quickly rose back to 5000 remaining stablestability in the last 3 years.
Why this response received Band 5.5
文章能够按时间顺序对图表的主要变化趋势进行分段描述，整体结构清晰。然而，文章在关键数据解读（如总年限计算和部分年份具体数值）及宏观概述上存在准确性偏差，同时存在较频繁的语法与词汇搭配错误。建议优先纠正数据核对习惯，并着重提升可数名词修饰词与动词句式的表达准确度。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务完成度
文章覆盖了图表的主要动态变化，但在总结段中对“多数时期开业数高于关业数”的概述与实际趋势不符，且多处数据提取不够准确。
仔细核对图表数据与趋势特点，确保总结段（Overview）能准确反映两条折线的总体对比关系。
连贯与衔接
文章采用了合理的按时间顺序分段的方式，段落之间和句间衔接大致顺畅。
增加多样且自然的逻辑连接词，避免重复使用较为机械的过渡表达。
词汇资源
使用了部分描述趋势的词汇，但频繁将修饰不可数名词的“amount of”误用于可数名词“shops”，且存在拼写和词性误用。
准确区分可数与不可数名词的修饰词（如改用“number of”），并加强对动词与副词搭配的掌握。
语法多样性与准确性
尝试使用复合句和对比结构，但句子中缺失谓语动词、主谓一致错误及单复数误用较为频繁。
重点检查句子的核心动词结构与时态，确保在书写比较句和数据描写句时语法完备。