The diagram below shows a simple system that turns dirty water into clean water.
Sample Response
The diagram illustratesThe following diagram illustrate how a water-filter assembly turns dirty water into clean water.
Overall, there are two main steps in the process of producing clean water, starting with pouring dirty water into a plastic filtration barrel and ending with clean water flowing out from a storage drum.starting with put the dirty water into a storage drum which is in responsible to clean the water and finishing go out from another storage drum.One notable feature is that the water is cleaned by several layers.
The processprogress begins with puttingputing the dirty water into a plastic barrel containing three filtration layers.into a storage drum which has a lot of layers. FirstFirstly, the water goes through a sand layer to filter out impurities.to reduce the tiny things like small stones. Then the water goes through the charcoal layer, followed by a gravel layer at the bottom.,which can remove the bad smells and colors of the water. Finally,In the end, the water passes through the gravel layergoes to the gravel layer and the filtered water collects at the bottom of the barrel.and the clean water stored in the bottom of the storage drum.
After the dirty water has been cleaned, it travels through a pipe from the plastic barrelit is pumped by a plactic barrel and goes to another storage drum, which is used to store clean water. When clean water is needed,And if we want to drink water, it can be dispensed directly through a tap at the base of the drum.just turn out the tap.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The report successfully identifies the main stages of the water filtration process and includes a clear overview. However, the explanation is constrained by frequent grammatical errors, repetitive cohesive devices, and awkward phrasing. Improving sentence structure accuracy and using more varied vocabulary will help elevate the overall clarity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers all key components of the diagram and provides an adequate summary overview.
Focus on describing only the visually observable facts without introducing outside explanations for how materials like charcoal function.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is present and follows a logical order, but transitions and linking phrases are repetitive or mechanically awkward.
Use a wider variety of sequencing words, such as 'subsequently' or 'following this', instead of repeatedly relying on 'then' and informal sentence starters.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the general message, though spelling mistakes and inappropriate word choices occur occasionally.
Work on precise vocabulary for technical processes, such as 'filtering', 'flowing', and 'dispensing' rather than informal phrases like 'turn out the tap'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Multiple grammatical errors appear throughout the text, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement, verb forms following prepositions, and passive structures.
Practice using correct verb patterns after prepositions, such as using gerunds like 'starting with putting' rather than base verbs.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows a simple system that turns dirty water into clean water.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.