The table below shows the results of a survey to find out what members of a city sports club think about the club’s activities, facilities, and opening hours.
Sample Response
The table illustrates the preference levels of male and female members of a sport club about their activities, facilities and opening hours. It is clear that the greater proportion of male members is contented about the club’s activities (91%) whereas this figure is true only for 70% of female members.
Moreover, more than 85% of both male and female are happy about the facilities and 63% of male members and 64% female members are extremely satisfied in this regard. In fact, only 14% of female members and 10% of male members are negative about this.
In addition, opening hours are in the best interest of women as 97% of them are positive about it. In contrast, more than one third of men have expressed their dissatisfaction in this regard.
In conclusion, it is clear that male and female members hold different opinion about the activities and facilities and opening hours of the club.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the compound noun Original: sport Suggested revision: sports Why it matters: The standard compound noun is ‘sports club’.
- 2. Clarify the reference Original: their activities Suggested revision: the club's activities Why it matters: The activities belong to the club, so the possessive reference should identify the club.
- 3. Fix agreement and collocation Original: the greater proportion of male members is contented about Suggested revision: a greater proportion of male members are satisfied with Why it matters: The plural members take ‘are’, and people are ‘satisfied with’ something.
- 4. Correct the percentage Original: 91 Suggested revision: 95 Why it matters: The table shows 55% very satisfied and 40% satisfied among men, totalling 95%.
- 5. Add the missing noun Original: both male and female are Suggested revision: both male and female members are Why it matters: ‘Male’ and ‘female’ function as modifiers here and need the noun ‘members’.
- 6. Add percentage preposition Original: 64% female members Suggested revision: 64% of female members Why it matters: Use ‘of’ when a percentage refers to part of a group.
- 7. Use the table label Original: are negative about this Suggested revision: were not satisfied with the facilities Why it matters: This wording states the measured category and its subject precisely.
- 8. Describe satisfaction directly Original: opening hours are in the best interest of women Suggested revision: women were most satisfied with the opening hours Why it matters: ‘In the best interest’ does not accurately describe a satisfaction rating.
- 9. Use the plural noun Original: opinion Suggested revision: opinions Why it matters: Different views held by two groups require the plural ‘opinions’.
- 10. Use the measured concept Original: preference Suggested revision: satisfaction Why it matters: The survey measures satisfaction rather than general preferences.
- 11. Improve comparative wording Original: this figure is true only for Suggested revision: the corresponding figure was only Why it matters: This phrase states the comparison more naturally and precisely.
- 12. Use formal survey language Original: happy about the facilities Suggested revision: satisfied with the facilities Why it matters: ‘Satisfied with’ matches the survey category and is more formal than ‘happy about’.
Suggested Rewrites
- sport sports
- their activities the club's activities
- the greater proportion of male members is contented about a greater proportion of male members are satisfied with
- 91 95
- both male and female are both male and female members are
- 64% female members 64% of female members
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response selects relevant figures for all three survey areas and makes useful comparisons between male and female members. Its main limitation is that the overview does not clearly synthesize the contrasting patterns, and the reported 91% satisfaction figure for men's views of activities is inaccurate. Prioritize a precise overview that highlights the similarity in facilities alongside the opposite gender preferences for activities and opening hours.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers all three categories with relevant comparisons, but its overview is vague and the men's activities total should be 95%, not 91%.
State the main cross-category patterns clearly in the overview and verify every combined percentage against the table.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically by survey category, and paragraphing makes the comparisons easy to follow.
Replace the repetitive conclusion with a focused overview that connects the most important similarities and contrasts.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the task, although phrases such as 'preference levels' and 'in the best interest of women' are imprecise.
Use neutral data-reporting language such as 'satisfaction levels' and 'were satisfied with the opening hours'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is generally controlled, with only occasional agreement and noun-phrase errors.
Check plural forms and percentage constructions, especially 'male and female members', '64% of female members', and 'different opinions'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the results of a survey to find out what members of a city sports club think about the club’s activities, facilities, and opening hours.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.