The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010.
Sample Response
The maps compare the structural developments and the transformation of a village called Stockford between 1930 and 2010. A glance at the maps reveals that the Stockford village in 1930 had fewer houses and extended farmland but witnessed rapid housing development afterwards. As is observed, Stockford village is located at the east of the River Stoke. Parallel to this river, the main road has connected a bridge in the farthest north-east side of the village in both maps. A few houses on both sides of the road, two shops and a post office on the west side of the road were present in this village in 1930. Besides, an elementary school, a large garden and a connecting road to the bridge were on the east of this village. Two large farmlands were quite visible in the early map which disappeared in the latter one. The 2010's map reveals that the post office, the bridge and the primary school remained unaltered, though, the school building was enlarged. The shops disappeared and the garden with many of its trees was compromised to build more accommodation facilities. The large house was converted to a retirement home with some extension to its structure. On top of that, the number of houses increased remarkably and these houses were built on the previously existing farmlands and garden.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct place name Original: called Stockford Suggested revision: called Stokeford Why it matters: The map labels the village Stokeford, so the proper noun is misspelled.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: structural developments Suggested revision: structural changes Why it matters: Structural changes is a more natural description of how the village layout developed.
- 3. Correct adjective choice Original: extended farmland Suggested revision: extensive farmland Why it matters: Extensive describes a large area, whereas extended suggests that something was lengthened.
- 4. Avoid personifying village Original: witnessed rapid housing development afterwards Suggested revision: underwent extensive housing development by 2010 Why it matters: Underwent states the change directly and anchors it to the second map.
- 5. Fix location phrase Original: located at the east of Suggested revision: located east of Why it matters: East of is the standard prepositional phrase for this location.
- 6. Use simple past Original: has connected Suggested revision: connected Why it matters: The maps show conditions in two completed past years, so the present perfect is unsuitable here.
- 7. Improve map accuracy Original: farthest north-east side Suggested revision: northern end Why it matters: The bridge is at the northern end of the village rather than clearly on its farthest north-east side.
- 8. Use formal linker Original: Besides Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: In addition more clearly links another set of features in a formal report.
- 9. Use comparison term Original: early map Suggested revision: earlier map Why it matters: Earlier is the appropriate comparative adjective when referring to the 1930 map.
- 10. Remove false possessive Original: The 2010's map Suggested revision: The 2010 map Why it matters: A year used attributively does not take an apostrophe or possessive ending.
- 11. Fix conjunction punctuation Original: though, the Suggested revision: although the Why it matters: Although introduces the contrast clause cleanly without the misplaced commas around though.
- 12. Choose precise map verb Original: compromised Suggested revision: partly cleared Why it matters: The map shows that much of the garden was removed for development, not that it was compromised.
Suggested Rewrites
- called Stockford called Stokeford
- structural developments structural changes
- extended farmland extensive farmland
- witnessed rapid housing development afterwards underwent extensive housing development by 2010
- located at the east of located east of
- has connected connected
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a clear overview and accurately covers nearly all major changes, especially the extensive housing development and the conversion of the large house into a retirement home. Its main limitation is presentation: the entire report forms one dense paragraph, while several collocations and prepositions are unnatural. The highest priority is to divide the comparison into purposeful paragraphs and refine location language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate selection of the principal changes provide strong coverage of both maps.
Add a little more precise comparison of the new road layout and the distribution of housing in 2010.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview through the earlier layout to the later changes, despite being presented as one paragraph.
Use separate body paragraphs for the 1930 features and the 2010 transformations to make the comparison easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary describes development and change, though choices such as 'extended farmland' and 'compromised' are not fully natural.
Prefer precise map-reporting collocations such as 'extensive farmland,' 'redeveloped,' and 'converted into housing.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence structures are generally well controlled, with occasional article, tense, punctuation, and preposition errors.
Review prepositions and noun phrases, particularly forms such as 'to the east of,' 'in the northeast,' and 'the 2010 map.'
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