The line graph below shows the number of train passengers in the city of Sydney between 1995 and 2004. And the second one shows the target for trains to run on time and the percentage of trains running on time.
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Sample Response
The first line graph depictsThe first line chart illustrates the number of train passengers in the city of Sydney between 1995 and 2004. while the second comparesThe second one shows the target for trains to run on time and the percentage of trains running on time.
Overall, the number of passengers rose steadily to a peakcontinued to rise to a peak before decreasing slightly and remaining stable.before a slight decrease, then remained stable. In contrast,On the other hand, the percentage of trains running on time showed a fluctuatingfluctuated trend, and met the target only twice.and only reached the corresponding figure for target only twice.
The number of passengers stood at approximately 240 million in 1995, then rose to a peak of nearly 300 million in 2001 before a slight decrease to about 279 million in 2002, then remained stable until the end of the periodto the end of this period.
The figure for the proportion of trains running on time fluctuated throughout the period, peaking at approximately 96% in 2002 to exceed the 95% target, and dropping to a lowpeaking at approximately 96% in 2002, reaching the target of 95%, and reaching a low of around 72% in 2004. The corresponding figure experienced a sharp decrease after its peak. The other time when the figure was higher than its target was in 1999, only about 0.5% higher than its target.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear summary of both charts, highlighting main trends and relevant data points accurately. Organization is logical with dedicated body paragraphs for each graph and a well-defined overview. To improve further, refine word choices such as participle forms and vary sentence structures to demonstrate higher grammatical control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response clearly identifies key features and trends, accurately reporting figures and comparing performance against the target line.
Ensure all key turning points in both graphs are fully rounded out to present an even more complete description.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and details are organized logically into distinct, easy-to-follow paragraphs with appropriate linking.
Vary linking words and paragraph transitions to make the connection between the overview and data paragraphs even smoother.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally accurate and varied enough to describe data trends and targets effectively.
Correct minor word form errors, such as changing 'a fluctuated trend' to 'a fluctuating trend', to enhance precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good mix of simple and complex structures is used with good general control over grammar and punctuation.
Reduce minor word-order repetition and grammatical redundancies to achieve a consistently natural academic tone.