The graph shows Internet Usage in Taiwan by Age Group, 1998-2000.
Sample Response
The column graph delineates the percentage distribution of Taiwanese internet usersratio of Taiwanese internet users by age groupbased on their ages from the year 1998 to 2000. OverallAs is obvious, the majority of the internet users in Taiwan were between 16 and 50 years old during the given period. According to the bar chart, more than half of the Taiwanese internet users in 1998 were people agedyoung people, between 16 and 30 years old, while another 40% were in the 31-50 age groupwere from 31-50 age group. The remaining 6% were either minors or senior citizens. In 1999After a year, more minors and people aged 50 and overold people in Taiwan accounted for larger shares of usersembraced this technology as each group's share rose to 8%their ratio went as high as 8%. This increase slightly affected the younger internet users’ ratio as their percentages dipped. In 2000Next year, in 2000, the share of users under 15 rose to 9%minor internet users boosted to 9%, one percentage point lower thana percent fewer than the share aged 50 and overthe old internet users over 49 years old. In thatthis year, internet users aged 16-3016-30 years internet users comprised 44% of the total while those aged 31-50 accounted for31-50-year-old contributed to another 37% of total internet users in Taiwan.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response accurately captures the dominance of the two middle age groups and the gradual rise in shares for the youngest and oldest users, using well-chosen figures from all three years. Its main limitation is awkward language in several age-group comparisons and the lack of paragraphing. The priority is to group the overview and detailed trends separately while using precise expressions for percentages and age ranges.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and supporting figures accurately cover the major proportions and opposing changes across all four age groups from 1998 to 2000.
Refine the comparison by explicitly stating that both middle groups declined while the youngest and oldest groups increased.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses clearly from the overview through 1998, 1999, and 2000, although all information appears in a single paragraph.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and group detailed comparisons by declining middle groups and rising outer age groups.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for proportions and change, but words such as 'ratio', 'embraced', and 'boosted' are sometimes unnatural in context.
Use precise chart terms such as 'proportion', 'accounted for', 'rose to', and 'fell by one percentage point'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences communicates the trends, but errors recur in age-group noun phrases, agreement, and comparative forms.
Use consistent forms such as 'users aged 16-30', 'the 31-50 age group', and 'one percentage point lower than'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph shows Internet Usage in Taiwan by Age Group, 1998-2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.