The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. The number of hours spent by each teacher in teaching.
Sample Response
The bar graph outlines the average duration a teacher spent on three different levels in four different countries in 2001. Overall, the teaching hours at the secondary level was higher than that of primary level and the US tutors spent more time teaching than the teachers in the other three countries did. A US teacher spent more than 700 hours to teach primary students in 2001 while a Japanese educator disbursed exactly 600 hours for teaching the same graders. Time allocated to teaching elementary student by a Spanish teacher was 50 hours higher than that of Japanese teacher but it was less than 600 hours in Iceland. An American teacher’s average schooling duration in 2001 for lower secondary students was 1000 hours which was 300 to 400 hours higher than the teaching duration by a teacher in the other three countries. Finally, higher secondary students received almost 1200 hours’ lectures by a teacher in the US and this duration was noticeable higher than of other countries. In Japan, an upper secondary level teacher taught for 700 hours in 2001, almost 500 hours less than that of a US teacher. In Iceland and Spain, teaching duration by a higher secondary level teacher was approximately 900 hours, about 300 hours less than that of an American teacher.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise wording Original: duration a teacher spent on three different levels Suggested revision: time teachers spent teaching at three school levels Why it matters: This wording names the measured teaching time and the educational levels more precisely.
- 2. Fix subject agreement Original: was higher Suggested revision: were higher Why it matters: The plural subject teaching hours requires the plural verb were.
- 3. Match plural comparison Original: that of primary level Suggested revision: those at the primary level Why it matters: The plural hours should be compared with those at another level.
- 4. Use chart terminology Original: US tutors Suggested revision: US teachers Why it matters: Teachers matches the people represented in the chart more directly than tutors.
- 5. Report the precise figure Original: spent more than 700 hours to teach Suggested revision: spent about 750 hours teaching Why it matters: The primary figure for the US is approximately 750 hours in the chart.
- 6. Correct the collocation Original: disbursed exactly 600 hours Suggested revision: spent exactly 600 hours Why it matters: Disburse refers to paying out money, whereas a person spends time.
- 7. Name the school level Original: the same graders Suggested revision: the same level Why it matters: The chart compares school levels rather than particular groups of pupils.
- 8. Use the plural noun Original: elementary student Suggested revision: elementary students Why it matters: The statement refers generally to students at that level, so the noun should be plural.
- 9. Complete the comparison Original: that of Japanese teacher Suggested revision: those of a Japanese teacher Why it matters: Hours is plural and Japanese teacher needs an article.
- 10. Describe teaching time Original: average schooling duration Suggested revision: average teaching time Why it matters: The chart measures teachers' working hours, not the duration of students' schooling.
- 11. Use the correct level Original: higher secondary students Suggested revision: upper-secondary students Why it matters: Upper secondary is the category used in the chart.
- 12. Use an adverb Original: noticeable higher Suggested revision: noticeably higher Why it matters: An adverb is needed to modify the comparative adjective higher.
Suggested Rewrites
- duration a teacher spent on three different levels time teachers spent teaching at three school levels
- was higher were higher
- that of primary level those at the primary level
- US tutors US teachers
- spent more than 700 hours to teach spent about 750 hours teaching
- disbursed exactly 600 hours spent exactly 600 hours
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear overview and accurately compares the main teaching-hour patterns, with especially strong coverage of primary and upper-secondary figures. Its main weakness is imprecise wording and a small numerical overstatement in the lower-secondary comparison, so the highest-priority improvement is to use natural data-reporting collocations and check every stated range against the chart.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and well-selected comparisons describe nearly all main patterns accurately, although the stated US lower-secondary margin is slightly overstated for Spain.
Check each numerical comparison against the chart and state the US-Spain gap as about 250 hours.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from the overview through primary, lower-secondary and upper-secondary comparisons, despite relying on one dense detail paragraph.
Divide the details into two purposeful paragraphs, for example primary figures first and both secondary levels second.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range for precise comparison, but several awkward choices such as 'disbursed' and 'schooling duration' reduce naturalness.
Use standard chart language such as 'taught for', 'teaching hours' and 'figures for' consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparisons are generally controlled, but article, plural and comparative-form errors recur in phrases such as 'elementary student' and 'noticeable higher'.
Proofread noun phrases and comparative structures, especially articles, plural endings and adverb forms such as 'noticeably higher than'.