The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. The number of hours spent by each teacher in teaching.
Sample Response
The column graph represents data on average teaching hours by each educator in 2001 in Japan, Spain, Iceland and the USA in the primary, lower secondary and higher secondary school levels. Generally speaking, a US tutor on an average spent more hours on schooling than that of Japanese, Spanish and Icelandic teachers in 2001 and the time spent on teaching increases with the class levels in all countries. According to the illustration, an instructor in Japan, Spain and Iceland typically spent around 600 hours in 2001 to teach elementary level students. This duration in the USA was the highest, roughly 750 hours. A US mentor taught lower secondary students for exactly 1000 hours in the same year and it was roughly 600 hours in Iceland and Japan. However, lower secondary teachers in Spain disbursed roughly 750 hours each to their students. Finally, the time spent to teach higher secondary pupil in the USA was approximately 1200 hours which was 300 hours less in Iceland and Spain and precisely 700 hours in Japan.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name chart accurately Original: column graph Suggested revision: bar chart Why it matters: 'Bar chart' matches the horizontal category layout shown in the visual.
- 2. Clarify the measure Original: data on average teaching hours by each educator Suggested revision: the average number of hours taught by teachers Why it matters: This noun phrase states the measured quantity more naturally and precisely.
- 3. Match chart label Original: higher secondary school levels Suggested revision: upper secondary school levels Why it matters: The chart uses the category 'Upper Secondary'.
- 4. Fix fixed phrase Original: on an average Suggested revision: on average Why it matters: The standard adverbial phrase is 'on average' without an article.
- 5. Use precise collocation Original: more hours on schooling Suggested revision: more hours teaching Why it matters: Teachers spend hours teaching rather than 'on schooling' in this context.
- 6. Fix comparison Original: than that of Japanese, Spanish and Icelandic teachers Suggested revision: than Japanese, Spanish, and Icelandic teachers Why it matters: The comparison is between teachers, so the pronoun 'that' is unnecessary and incorrect.
- 7. Use past tense Original: increases Suggested revision: increased Why it matters: The chart describes figures from 2001, so the overview should use past tense.
- 8. Clarify category trend Original: with the class levels Suggested revision: at higher school levels Why it matters: This wording clearly describes the increase from primary to upper secondary.
- 9. Use plural subject Original: an instructor in Japan, Spain and Iceland Suggested revision: teachers in Japan, Spain, and Iceland Why it matters: The sentence refers to teachers across three different countries, so a plural subject is required.
- 10. Match category wording Original: to teach elementary level students Suggested revision: teaching primary-level students Why it matters: 'Primary' matches the chart label and the gerund fits after 'spent'.
- 11. Refer to data Original: This duration Suggested revision: This figure Why it matters: 'Figure' is the conventional term for a value presented in a chart.
- 12. Correct country figures Original: it was roughly 600 hours in Iceland and Japan Suggested revision: the corresponding figures for Iceland and Japan were roughly 600 and 650 hours, respectively Why it matters: The chart shows Japan above 600 hours for lower secondary teaching, unlike Iceland at about 600.
Suggested Rewrites
- column graph bar chart
- data on average teaching hours by each educator the average number of hours taught by teachers
- higher secondary school levels upper secondary school levels
- on an average on average
- more hours on schooling more hours teaching
- than that of Japanese, Spanish and Icelandic teachers than Japanese, Spanish, and Icelandic teachers
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response identifies the dominant patterns clearly and supports them with accurate, well-selected figures across all school levels and countries. Organisation is easy to follow, although the report is presented as one paragraph and a few word choices, such as disbursed for teaching hours, sound unnatural. The highest-priority improvement is to group the overview and details into distinct paragraphs while using more precise academic collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately selects the principal values and comparisons across countries and school levels.
Add one direct comparison between Japan's and Iceland's upper-secondary figures to make the detail even more discriminating.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a clear sequence from overview through the three school levels, with cohesive links that generally support progression.
Use separate overview and detail paragraphs so the strong logical grouping is also visible on the page.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, though a few forced synonyms and collocations sound unnatural in this context.
Use neutral terms such as teachers, taught, and spent teaching rather than replacing them with less suitable alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of sentence structures is handled with control, despite occasional errors in comparison, articles, and singular-plural agreement.
Check comparative structures and noun agreement, especially phrases comparing one country's teachers with those of another.