The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.
Sample Response
The two charts illustrate the appliances that young adults in Canada use to watch television programmes and how this has changed over the ten-year period from 2009 to 2019. One of the key changes over this decade is the transition from conventional televisions to flat-screens, with the former falling from 34% to 4% and the latter rising from 8% to 27% for the period, making it the number one television device. The latter has replaced the former as the most popular TV viewing device.
Another general trend is that younger people are now watching television on smaller, more portable devices than in 2009. In particular, the use of mobile phones and tablets for viewing purposes has increased by almost three quarters to 26% and tablet use seeing an almost four-fold increase to 19%. This trend is reinforced by the number of 18 to 25-year-olds using computers for the TV viewing. Both desktop and laptop computers saw substantial falls in usage (around a third for both).
Overall then, it can be said that the two pie charts suggest the TV viewing habits in Canada over the period saw a move away from older devices and towards more modern equivalents.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart terminology Original: appliances Suggested revision: devices Why it matters: Devices is the precise term for the television-viewing equipment shown.
- 2. Name the device precisely Original: flat-screens Suggested revision: flat-screen TVs Why it matters: The fuller term identifies the category more precisely.
- 3. Correct time preposition Original: for Suggested revision: over Why it matters: Over is the appropriate preposition for a change spanning ten years.
- 4. Use formal ranking language Original: number one television device Suggested revision: most widely used television device Why it matters: This wording expresses the category's leading share more formally and precisely.
- 5. State the falling measure Original: by the number of 18 to 25-year-olds using computers Suggested revision: by the decline in computer use among 18 to 25-year-olds Why it matters: The charts show falling computer-use shares, rather than a number of users.
- 6. Remove unnecessary article Original: for the TV viewing Suggested revision: for TV viewing Why it matters: TV viewing is used without the definite article in this general sense.
- 7. Correct the comparison Original: (around a third for both) Suggested revision: (by about a third for desktops and two fifths for laptops) Why it matters: Desktop use fell from 18% to 12%, while laptop use fell from 20% to 12%.
- 8. Streamline overview marker Original: Overall then, Suggested revision: Overall, Why it matters: Overall alone provides a clear and concise overview signal.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: In particular, the use of mobile phones and tablets for viewing purposes has increased by almost three quarters to 26% and tablet use seeing an almost four-fold increase to 19%. Suggested revision: In particular, mobile-phone use rose by almost three quarters to 26%, while tablet use nearly quadrupled to 19%. Why it matters: The rewrite separates the two categories and gives both clauses complete grammatical structures.
- 10. Strengthen the overview Suggested revision: Move the overview after the introduction and summarise both dominant shifts: conventional TV use collapsed while flat-screen and portable-device use rose. Why it matters: A consolidated early overview would make the principal changes immediately clear.
Suggested Rewrites
- appliances devices
- flat-screens flat-screen TVs
- for over
- number one television device most widely used television device
- by the number of 18 to 25-year-olds using computers by the decline in computer use among 18 to 25-year-olds
- for the TV viewing for TV viewing
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response identifies the principal shift from conventional televisions to flat-screen and portable devices and supports it with mostly accurate figures and comparisons. Its main limitation is selective numerical coverage and occasional imprecision in summarising the computer categories, while some awkward grammar reduces fluency. The highest-priority improvement is to compare all six categories systematically, giving precise starting and ending figures in clearly grouped sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate figures capture the dominant changes, with all device groups at least mentioned.
Strengthen coverage by giving exact start-to-end comparisons for mobile phones, tablets, laptops, and desktop computers rather than combining or approximating them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the main television shift to portable devices and computers, although the overview is split and partly repetitive.
Place one concise overview immediately after the introduction and remove the repeated statement about flat-screen televisions replacing conventional sets.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, though expressions such as 'appliances', 'number one television device', and 'for the TV viewing' are awkward.
Use natural chart-reporting collocations such as 'devices', 'largest share', and 'watching television' consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is mostly controlled, but faulty coordination in 'and tablet use seeing' and several awkward constructions interrupt fluency.
Check that each coordinated clause has a complete finite verb and revise compressed comparative sentences for grammatical parallelism.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.