The graph below shows the weekday volume of passenger activity on the Toronto Metro system for July 2007.
Sample Response
The line graph demonstrates the passenger activities on the Toronto Metro System for a week in July 2007. The x-axis of the graph shows different hours of the day while the y-axis gives the number of passengers in thousands. Overall, it is apparent from the line graph that the highest number of passengers used the Toronto Metro System at 8 in the morning and 6 in the evening. As can be seen, the activity at Toronto Metro Station begins at 6 in the morning with the rush of 100 thousand people and a fairly similar pattern can be noticed at 4 in the evening. The Toronto Metro, in these two hours, received the lowest number of travellers. The passengers rushed in during 8 in the morning and 400 thousand of them were in this metro at that time. A similar number of passenger used this subway at 6 in the evening. Moreover, with a drastic downfall, the travellers' number reached to about 200 thousand at 10 in the morning. Moving further, after a climb to 300 thousand passengers at 12 in the noon, it stabilization till 2 pm before a significant fall at 4 pm. However, afterwards, the number kept on increasing before reaching to approximately 400,000 at 6 in the evening. From that point, fewer passengers used the Metro and at 10 pm there were roughly 150,000 travellers present on the Metro System.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable activity Original: activities Suggested revision: activity Why it matters: Activity is uncountable when referring to passenger volume as a whole.
- 2. Correct the time scope Original: for a week in July 2007 Suggested revision: on weekdays in July 2007 Why it matters: The graph represents weekday activity from Monday to Friday, not one specific week.
- 3. Describe the peak precisely Original: the highest number of passengers used the Toronto Metro System Suggested revision: passenger numbers on the Toronto Metro system were highest Why it matters: The revised wording describes a peak in passenger volume directly.
- 4. Refer to the system Original: the activity at Toronto Metro Station Suggested revision: passenger activity on the Toronto Metro system Why it matters: The graph covers the metro system rather than a single station.
- 5. Use neutral data language Original: with the rush of 100 thousand people Suggested revision: with 100,000 passengers Why it matters: Rush is imprecise for reporting a plotted passenger total.
- 6. Compare figures directly Original: a fairly similar pattern Suggested revision: a similar figure Why it matters: The two points share a value, rather than a broader pattern.
- 7. Use concise reporting verb Original: can be noticed Suggested revision: was recorded Why it matters: Was recorded is more direct and appropriate for graph data.
- 8. Use transport collocation Original: received the lowest number of travellers Suggested revision: carried the fewest passengers Why it matters: A transport system carries passengers rather than receives travellers.
- 9. Use plural after number Original: passenger Suggested revision: passengers Why it matters: Number of requires a plural count noun.
- 10. Keep reference consistent Original: this subway Suggested revision: the system Why it matters: The system maintains consistent reference to the Toronto Metro.
- 11. Use graph trend language Original: with a drastic downfall Suggested revision: after a sharp fall Why it matters: Fall is the natural noun for a steep decrease in graph data.
- 12. Use natural quantity phrase Original: the travellers' number Suggested revision: the passenger total Why it matters: Passenger total is a natural way to describe the plotted quantity.
Suggested Rewrites
- activities activity
- for a week in July 2007 on weekdays in July 2007
- the highest number of passengers used the Toronto Metro System passenger numbers on the Toronto Metro system were highest
- the activity at Toronto Metro Station passenger activity on the Toronto Metro system
- with the rush of 100 thousand people with 100,000 passengers
- a fairly similar pattern a similar figure
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response follows the daily pattern clearly and selects the two rush-hour peaks, the afternoon low, and several intermediate figures, so the main trends are easy to understand. Its main limitation is minor data imprecision alongside frequent awkward collocations and grammatical errors. The highest-priority improvement is to report the figures with exact comparative language while editing verb forms, prepositions, and singular-plural agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the two principal peaks and the report covers the main fluctuations with mostly accurate data, despite calling the graph a week and rounding the evening peak to 400,000.
Distinguish the weekday daily pattern from a full week and report the 6 p.m. peak as just under 400,000 rather than equal to the morning maximum.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological sequence is easy to follow and referencing is generally clear, but the single long paragraph and formulaic transitions weaken organisation.
Separate the overview from two body paragraphs covering the morning and afternoon-evening periods, with transitions based on time rather than stock phrases.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to describe rises, falls, peaks, and lows, but frequent miscollocations such as 'drastic downfall', 'reached to', and 'rush of 100 thousand' reduce accuracy.
Use standard graph language such as 'fell sharply', 'reached', 'stood at', and 'rose to a peak' with precise nouns.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but recurring errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and prepositions are noticeable throughout.
Correct forms such as 'a similar number of passengers used', 'it stabilised', and 'at 8 a.m.' before adding more complex structures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the weekday volume of passenger activity on the Toronto Metro system for July 2007.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.