The graph below gives information on the performance of a train company in October and November in 2008
Sample Response
The graphsinfographics shed light on the percentages of trains cancelled or running late duringbetween October and November 2008.
Generally, it can be seen that both the percentagesnumbers of trains running late and being cancelledrunning late or cancelled experienced fluctuations from week to weekyear to year. Further, they both increased between the first and second weeks of both October and Novemberfirst and second weeks of October and November.
During the first week of October, 20%one fifth of trains were behind schedule, and this figure rose to 30%which rose to 30% by the second week. Over the next fortnight, train services were more punctual, as by week 4 of October, only 5% were lateoverdue. However, starting in November, the percentage of late trains rose againthe number of late trains were again rising, reaching a peak of 5055% by the second week, before dropping back down to 3040% by the end of the recorded period.
With regardregards to train cancellationscancelled, the highest cancellation ratepercentage of this happening occurred inwithin the second week of October, when 7% of all trains were cancelledterminated. This fell sharplyThis would fall greatly over the next week, down to only 1 percent. The last week of October witnessed a spike in trains cancelled at 3% of services, before declining again to 1%. In the second week of November, the cancellation rate rose again to 5%trains were again aborted at a more frequent rate, at 5%, before edging down to 4%plunging to 4% by the following week.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear organisation, separating late and cancelled trains and tracing both series across the seven weeks. Its main limitation is data accuracy: the final two late-train figures are overstated, and “from year to year” misrepresents a weekly period; several awkward forms also reduce precision. Prioritise checking every plotted value and using accurate time and train-service terminology before refining sentence-level grammar.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Both series are covered with a relevant overview, but the final late-train values are reported inaccurately and the time frame is mislabeled.
Verify each point against the graph, especially the late-train peak and final value, and describe changes as weekly rather than yearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from an overview to separate, chronological accounts of late and cancelled trains.
Tighten references between consecutive weeks so every rise or fall has an immediately clear starting and ending point.
Lexical Resource
There is useful range in language for trends, but several choices are imprecise or unnatural for percentages and cancelled services.
Prefer accurate terms such as “percentage,” “cancelled,” and “fell” over “numbers,” “terminated,” “aborted,” or exaggerated trend verbs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted successfully, although agreement, noun-form, and preposition errors recur across the response.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and plural noun forms in phrases such as “the number was” and “cancelled trains.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information on the performance of a train company in October and November in 2008
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.