The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
Sample Response
The given bar graph shows data on the type of transportation used to go to work and to return from the work in three different years. As is noticed from the given data, private car has become the most popular mode of transportation for the office goers and over time the popularity of bus has decreased. Initially, in 1960, around 20% people used trains, 7% people used cars, 28% people used tubes and around 40% people used buses to go to work or to return from work. After 20 years, the popularity of train and car increased while the popularity of tube and bus decreased. In this year, more people used train than any other transportation as their mode of office transportation. The least used type of transportation was the tube and personal car in 1980. Finally, in 2000, the scenario changed and the car became the most popular mode of transportation which was used by more than 37% people. The second most popular transportation was tube while train and bus became the least preferred mode of transportation. As is observed, people started preferring private cars over the public bus and train over the time.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: the work Suggested revision: work Why it matters: The fixed phrase is 'return from work' without an article.
- 2. Use natural reporting phrase Original: As is noticed Suggested revision: As the data show Why it matters: This is a more natural way to introduce an observation from a graph.
- 3. Match number and tense Original: private car has become Suggested revision: private cars became Why it matters: Use a plural noun for the transport category and past tense for completed historical data.
- 4. Use precise noun Original: office goers Suggested revision: commuters Why it matters: 'Commuters' is the standard term for people travelling to and from work.
- 5. Use plural category Original: bus Suggested revision: buses Why it matters: A transport mode used generically should be expressed with a plural count noun here.
- 6. Add percentage preposition Original: around 20% people Suggested revision: around 20% of people Why it matters: A percentage is followed by 'of' before the noun it quantifies.
- 7. Add percentage preposition Original: 7% people Suggested revision: 7% of people Why it matters: Use 'of' between a percentage and the quantified noun.
- 8. Add percentage preposition Original: 28% people Suggested revision: 28% of people Why it matters: Use 'of' between a percentage and the quantified noun.
- 9. Add percentage preposition Original: around 40% people Suggested revision: around 40% of people Why it matters: Use 'of' between a percentage and the quantified noun.
- 10. Use plural categories Original: the popularity of train and car Suggested revision: the popularity of trains and cars Why it matters: Both transport categories require plural forms in this general comparison.
- 11. Use plural categories Original: the popularity of tube and bus Suggested revision: the popularity of tubes and buses Why it matters: Both transport categories require plural forms in this general comparison.
- 12. Name the year directly Original: After 20 years Suggested revision: By 1980 Why it matters: Naming the year makes the time reference immediate and precise.
Suggested Rewrites
- the work work
- As is noticed As the data show
- private car has become private cars became
- office goers commuters
- bus buses
- around 20% people around 20% of people
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear overall picture of the shift from buses to cars and follows the three years in an easy-to-understand sequence. Its main limitation is uneven precision: the 1980 comparison is slightly inaccurate and several later figures are omitted, while recurring article and preposition errors reduce polish; prioritise fuller, more exact comparisons supported by the chart.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly accurate key trends address the task well, although the 1980 ranking is imprecise and some important figures are omitted.
Compare all four modes more precisely in 1980 and 2000, noting that train and bus were level at about 27% in 1980 and that bus alone was lowest in 2000.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological organisation creates clear progression, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph and repeating similar linking patterns weakens the structure.
Separate the overview from two focused detail paragraphs and group the comparisons by time period or by rising and falling modes.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of trend vocabulary, though repetition and awkward collocations such as office transportation and 20% people reduce precision.
Use more natural data-reporting phrases such as 20% of commuters, travel by car, and the proportion using each mode.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the data clearly, despite recurring errors with articles, prepositions, agreement, and percentage expressions.
Proofread noun phrases and time expressions, especially from work, in 1980, over time, and percentage of people constructions.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.