The graph below gives information on the population of turtles in India from 1980 to 2012.
Sample Response
The line graph gives data on different turtle species in India between 1980 and 2012. The given turtle population index clearly states that leatherback turtles greatly reduced during the given period while the Olive Ridley species managed to increase their population in India. Analysing the illustration reveal that there were 111 turtle species in India and the 1980 turtle population index considered 100 units and in this year, all turtles in India were at unit 100. However, over the time, leatherback turtle’s number dropped significantly and reached to only 60 units while an opposite trend could be observed in the case of Olive Ridley turtles. This species continually expanded, according to the index, till 1997 and then showed some fluctuations with a sharp drop in 2012 when it was just over 120 units. Finally, the green turtle’s index indicates that a rapid oscillation was visible in the population of this turtle. Over the years, this species's population, however, slightly dropped and they were just over 90 units in 2012. The index of all turtle species did not change significantly, though there were many ups and downs in this number. The important information that the diagram provides is the number of various types of turtle species. It was 19 for leatherback turtles, 38 for green turtles and 20 for Olive Ridley.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart verb Original: states Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: A graph or index shows information rather than stating it.
- 2. Add population noun Original: leatherback turtles greatly reduced Suggested revision: the leatherback turtle population fell sharply Why it matters: The turtles themselves did not reduce; their population index fell.
- 3. Avoid personification Original: managed to increase their population Suggested revision: increased in number Why it matters: This describes the numerical trend directly and concisely.
- 4. Remove article Original: over the time Suggested revision: over time Why it matters: The fixed expression for a gradual change is “over time.”
- 5. Name the measure Original: leatherback turtle’s number Suggested revision: leatherback turtle index Why it matters: The chart tracks an index, so “number” is imprecise here.
- 6. Correct reach pattern Original: reached to only 60 units Suggested revision: reached only about 60 index points Why it matters: “Reach” takes a direct object without the preposition “to.”
- 7. Make contrast direct Original: while an opposite trend could be observed in the case of Suggested revision: while the reverse occurred for Why it matters: The shorter clause expresses the comparison more clearly.
- 8. Describe the line Original: continually expanded Suggested revision: rose steadily Why it matters: “Rose steadily” is the conventional wording for this upward index trend.
- 9. Remove redundancy Original: , according to the index, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The sentence is already explicitly describing an index, so this interruption is unnecessary.
- 10. Use precise endpoint Original: just over 120 units Suggested revision: about 127 index points Why it matters: The 2012 Olive Ridley value is close to 127 on the visual.
- 11. Fix sequence marker Original: Finally, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This is not the final feature discussed because the all-species series follows.
- 12. Use natural trend language Original: a rapid oscillation was visible Suggested revision: substantial fluctuations occurred Why it matters: This wording describes repeated changes in a line graph more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- states shows
- leatherback turtles greatly reduced the leatherback turtle population fell sharply
- managed to increase their population increased in number
- over the time over time
- leatherback turtle’s number leatherback turtle index
- reached to only 60 units reached only about 60 index points
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main species trends and covers all four series, with useful endpoint comparisons. Its main limitation is uneven accuracy and interpretation: the all-species figure of 111 is misread as a number of turtle species, and some values and movements are imprecisely described. Prioritise accurate identification of what each legend entry and index value represents, then organise details into clear comparative paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the principal rises and falls and mentions all four series, but it misinterprets the 111-species aggregate and reports some movements and values imprecisely.
Distinguish the indexed population values from the species counts in the legend and select precise start, peak, and endpoint comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses from the dominant trends to the remaining series, although the single long paragraph weakens the grouping of related comparisons.
Use an overview paragraph followed by two detail paragraphs grouping the rising and declining series logically.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe trends and fluctuations, but several collocations are awkward, including greatly reduced, reached to, and rapid oscillation.
Use conventional data-description phrases such as fell sharply, reached 60, fluctuated, and remained broadly stable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the comparisons, but recurring agreement, article, preposition, and reference errors reduce control.
Check subject-verb agreement and noun referencing, especially in clauses such as Analysing the illustration reveals and this species ended.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information on the population of turtles in India from 1980 to 2012.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.