The chart below shows how much money is spent in the budget on different sectors by the UAE government in 2000. Where the money goes
Sample Response
The pie chart illustrates the national expenditure of the United Arab Emirates in 2000. Generally speaking, the UAE government spent over 300 billion United Arab Emirates Dirham (AED) on different sectors in this year and the highest proportion of this expenditure went on ensuring the social security of citizens. To maintain the social soundness, the UAE government spent 100 billion AED, the highest, whilst, the transportation system received only 9 billion, the lowest budget allocation in this year. Besides, healthcare and personal social services demanded over 50 billion AED which was even higher than the cumulative budget allocation for the education and defence sectors in the UAE in 2000. The industrial, agricultural and employment sector received 13 billion AED which was 4 billion fewer than the national budget for the law and order sector. Moreover, the government contributed 23 billion in debt interest and 15 billion for the housing, heritage and environment sectors. All other expenditure summed up at 23 billion and it is obvious that the government paid overhead to ensure social security compared to other aspects of the country.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart category Original: To maintain the social soundness Suggested revision: For social security Why it matters: “Social soundness” is not the category named in the chart.
- 2. Use budget collocation Original: spent 100 billion AED Suggested revision: allocated AED 100 billion Why it matters: “Allocated” precisely describes a government budget distribution.
- 3. Name the largest amount Original: , the highest, Suggested revision: , the largest amount, Why it matters: “The highest” needs a noun identifying what is being compared.
- 4. Remove misplaced comma Original: whilst, Suggested revision: while Why it matters: A comma should not separate “while” from the clause it introduces.
- 5. Use chart label Original: the transportation system Suggested revision: the transport sector Why it matters: The chart reports a budget category, not a transportation system.
- 6. Include currency unit Original: received only 9 billion Suggested revision: received only AED 9 billion Why it matters: The amount needs the currency unit used throughout the chart.
- 7. Use concise time phrase Original: allocation in this year Suggested revision: allocation that year Why it matters: “That year” is the natural reference to 2000 in this context.
- 8. Match category wording Original: industrial, agricultural and employment sector Suggested revision: industry, agriculture and employment sector Why it matters: The revision uses parallel nouns and matches the combined category shown.
- 9. Order currency correctly Original: 13 billion AED Suggested revision: AED 13 billion Why it matters: The currency abbreviation conventionally precedes the amount.
- 10. Compare amounts correctly Original: 4 billion fewer Suggested revision: AED 4 billion less Why it matters: Use “less” for an uncountable amount of money and retain the currency unit.
- 11. Use concise comparison Original: national budget for the law and order sector Suggested revision: allocation to law and order Why it matters: This wording names the compared chart category directly.
- 12. Use allocation wording Original: contributed 23 billion in debt interest Suggested revision: allocated AED 23 billion to debt interest Why it matters: A budget assigns money to debt interest rather than contributing money in it.
Suggested Rewrites
- To maintain the social soundness For social security
- spent 100 billion AED allocated AED 100 billion
- , the highest, , the largest amount,
- whilst, while
- the transportation system the transport sector
- received only 9 billion received only AED 9 billion
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report identifies the largest and smallest allocations and includes most sectors with several accurate figures. Its main limitation is data accuracy: the chart totals AED 290 billion rather than over AED 300 billion, and health and social services at AED 53 billion is lower than education plus defence at AED 60 billion. Recalculate totals and comparisons directly from the labels before drafting the overview and details.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers most sectors and correctly identifies the extremes, but the total budget and one major combined comparison are inaccurate.
Add the labelled amounts carefully and verify every combined comparison before presenting it as a key feature.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a generally logical sequence through the sectors, though the single paragraph and loose grouping limit clarity.
Separate the overview and group the largest allocations together before comparing the smaller sectors in a second detail paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A reasonable range of budget vocabulary is attempted, but phrases such as ‘social soundness’, ‘demanded’, and ‘paid overhead’ are imprecise or unnatural.
Use consistent allocation language such as ‘was allocated’, ‘accounted for’, ‘received’, and ‘government spending’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparisons are generally understandable, but recurring article, preposition, agreement, and punctuation errors reduce control.
Proofread prepositions after spending verbs and separate comparison clauses with accurate punctuation and clear subjects.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows how much money is spent in the budget on different sectors by the UAE government in 2000. Where the money goes
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.