The line graph below gives information on cinema attendance in the UK.
Sample Response
The given line graph shows the percentage of UK people attending the cinemanumber of cinema-going UK people and divides themclassifies these viewers in four age groups. As is observed from the graph, people over 40 years old went to movies more than the younger people of the UK. More specifically,As is observed from the line graph, the people of 44- to 54-year-olds44 to 54 years-old attended cinema more than the people of other age groups who are less than 44 years old. Only 15% of the UK citizens who were between 14 andto 24 years old attended thein cinema in 1990 while this percentage increased with the increase of age group. In this same year, more than 35% of people35% people over 40 years attended the cinema. It is clear from the data that, people in the UK tended to attend the cinemathe people in UK trend to attend cinema more with the increase of their age. The cinema attendancecinema goer’s number increased gradually from 1990 to 2010 except for 1995 to 2000. In 2010, the number of cinema attendees was also dominated by the age group of 44 to 54 and the percentage of cinema attendees from all age groups rose slightly overall, with the largest group still aged 44-54increased by 5% on an average than the percentages were in 2005.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response captures the broad pattern that older people attended cinemas more and that attendance generally increased over time, giving the report a recognisable overall direction. However, it confuses percentages with numbers, offers too few exact comparisons, and ends with an inaccurate claim about the final rise. Prioritise precise percentage language and compare the highest and lowest age groups at key dates using accurate figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the main age pattern and the general rise over time, but it repeatedly calls percentages 'numbers' and includes an inaccurate final claim about a 5% average rise from 2005 to 2010. It also gives limited exact comparison across all four age groups.
Use percentages consistently and compare the highest and lowest age groups at the start and end of the period.
Coherence and Cohesion
The answer has a clear progression from overview to details, but the first two sentences repeat the same overview and some linking is overused. There is no paragraphing in the extracted response.
Divide the response into introduction, overview, and two data-detail paragraphs, removing repeated 'As is observed' phrases.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is understandable but sometimes inaccurate or unnatural, such as 'number of cinema-going UK people', 'trend to attend', and 'cinema goer's number'.
Use natural chart phrases: 'cinema attendance', 'the proportion of people', 'age group', 'rose', 'dipped', and 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally understandable, but there are errors with articles, prepositions, possessives, and subject-verb agreement. Several long sentences need cleaner clause control.
Rewrite long comparisons using simple accurate structures: 'The proportion for X rose from A to B, while Y increased from C to D'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph below gives information on cinema attendance in the UK.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.