The graph below shows the amount of UK investments in clean energy from 2008 to 2015.
Sample Response
The bar graph presents data on the United Kingdom’s annual investment on clean energy between 2008 and 2015. As is obvious, the UK budget on eco-friendly energy increased over the period and wind power got a considerable attention in terms of the grant it received. As the data suggests, the UK authorities financed nearly two and half billion pound in 2008 to generate eco-friendly power and half of it went on the wind power sector. Next year budget for wind power almost trebled while a small portion was spent on energy smart technologies and solar power. More than 7 billion was invested in 2009 in the UK to generate clean energy which went as high as 15 billion in 2015. The investment in next two years, 2010 and 2011, remained alike but more than one-third was disbursed for the solar power. From 2012 to 2015, the UK spent roughly 3-5 billion yearly to produce solar energy. The UK government mainly invested on wind and solar power in later years and energy smart technologies attracted a steady portion of UK clean energy investment throughout the period.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix investment preposition Original: on Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Investment takes in before the funded sector.
- 2. Signal overview directly Original: As is obvious Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: Overall introduces the main trends more directly and objectively.
- 3. Use chart terminology Original: UK budget on eco-friendly energy Suggested revision: UK investment in clean energy Why it matters: The chart measures investment rather than a government budget.
- 4. Remove article error Original: got a considerable attention Suggested revision: received considerable investment Why it matters: Attention is uncountable here, and investment is more faithful to the chart.
- 5. Avoid unsupported grants Original: in terms of the grant it received Suggested revision: within the overall total Why it matters: The chart reports investment amounts, not grants.
- 6. Fix amount phrase Original: financed nearly two and half billion pound Suggested revision: invested nearly £2.5 billion Why it matters: This construction uses the correct verb, number form, and currency unit.
- 7. Fix allocation phrase Original: half of it went on Suggested revision: about half went to Why it matters: Funds go to a sector, and about reflects the approximate bar value.
- 8. Add currency unit Original: More than 7 billion Suggested revision: More than £7 billion Why it matters: The chart's amounts are measured in pounds sterling.
- 9. Order time naturally Original: in 2009 in the UK Suggested revision: in the UK in 2009 Why it matters: This ordering places the location before the final time reference naturally.
- 10. Clarify rising subject Original: which went as high as Suggested revision: and total investment rose to Why it matters: The revision gives the rise a clear subject and avoids a vague relative clause.
- 11. Add pound symbol Original: 15 billion in 2015 Suggested revision: £15 billion in 2015 Why it matters: The final value needs the chart's currency unit.
- 12. Refine solar range Original: roughly 3-5 billion yearly Suggested revision: roughly £3–4 billion annually Why it matters: Solar investment was approximately £3–4 billion in these years, not as high as £5 billion.
Suggested Rewrites
- on in
- As is obvious Overall
- UK budget on eco-friendly energy UK investment in clean energy
- got a considerable attention received considerable investment
- in terms of the grant it received within the overall total
- financed nearly two and half billion pound invested nearly £2.5 billion
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response's strongest feature is its clear account of the overall rise in clean-energy investment and the prominent role of wind and solar power, supported by several relevant totals. Its main limitation is precision: wind did not merely treble in 2009, solar did not exceed one-third in both 2010 and 2011, and smart-technology investment was not steady throughout. The priority is to verify each stacked component before describing its trend.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and overall investment totals are broadly accurate, but several claims about individual energy categories are overstated or unsupported by the bars.
Check each coloured segment year by year and distinguish total investment from the separate solar, wind, smart-technology, and other components.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses coherently from overview to early and later years, although all information is compressed into one paragraph.
Separate the overview from two chronological detail paragraphs and compare related categories within each period.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of trend and investment vocabulary is used, but collocations such as "investment on," "got attention," and "financed two billion" are imprecise.
Use natural forms such as "investment in," "accounted for," "allocated," and "£2.5 billion was invested."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is consistently clear through varied sentence structures, but article, preposition, possessive, and unit-form errors recur.
Proofread noun phrases such as "two and a half billion pounds," "the following year's budget," and "investment in wind power."
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the amount of UK investments in clean energy from 2008 to 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.