The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
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Sample Response
The bar chart shows the female unemployment ratesunemployment rates among women in the countries that make up the United Kingdom, both in 2013 and in 2014. There was generallyhas generally been a small decrease in female unemployment rates from 2013 to 2014, except in Scotland.
In 2013, 5.6% of women in Northern Ireland were unemployed. The only country with a smaller female unemployment ratepercentage of women unemployed was Wales, with a rate of 5.4%. Both countries saw decreasesBoth countries saw a decrease in the female unemployment rate in 2014percentage of unemployed women in 2014. In Northern Ireland, the percentage fell to 4.6% and in Wales it fell to 5%.
England had the highestgreatest percentage of unemployed women in 2013, with 6.8%. However, this decreased by 0.3 percentage pointsby 0.3% in 2014. Lastly, Scotland was the only country where the female unemployment rate increasedwhich had an increasing percentage of unemployed women. In 2013, it had 6.1% of women out of work. This increased to 6.7% in 2014, making it the country with the highest female unemployment rate of the four countries.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear overview and accurately reports all major figures, with effective comparisons between countries and years. Its main limitation is some repetitive language and a few slightly awkward percentage expressions, though these do not impede clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to vary the language used for unemployment levels and changes while retaining the same precise data coverage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate coverage of all four countries and both years provide a strong, well-selected account of the chart.
Strengthen the overview further by explicitly identifying both the overall highest and lowest figures across the period.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organised into a concise overview and well-focused detail paragraphs, with clear progression throughout.
Use a slightly wider range of referencing and comparison structures to make links between the countries even more fluid.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is accurate and appropriate for describing rates and changes, although references to unemployed women and percentages are somewhat repetitive.
Vary repeated expressions with precise alternatives such as female joblessness, the proportion out of work, and the rate declined.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex sentences is used with strong control and only minor awkwardness in percentage phrasing.
Prefer forms such as stood at 6.8% or fell by 0.3 percentage points for greater grammatical and statistical precision.