The following graph shows the percentage of unemployment rates for the female in the UK.
Sample Response
The bar graph comparesoutlines the female unemployment rates in four counties in the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. Generally speaking, 5% to 7% of women5 to 7 percent women across these countriesin these provinces were jobless in 2013 and one year laterin a year these rates droppedthis rate dropped slightly except in Scotland. According to the given illustration, 6.8% of women6.8 percent women in England were jobless in 2013 which was higher than the female unemployment rates forin Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. The female unemployment rateFemale unemployment ratio in Wales was 5.4 % which was the lowest among the given counties. The ratio of unemployed females in Scotland and Northern Ireland stood at 6.1% and 5.6% respectivelyrespective. After a year, the unemployment ratio among females in England, Wales and Northern Ireland dropped by 0.3 to 1 percentage pointdropped by 0.2% to 0.4% and stayed between 4.6% and 6.5%between 4.6 to 6.5 percentages but it actually increasedincreases in Scotland. The rate of unemployed females in Scotland became the highest in 2014, at 6.7%became the highest in 2014 which was 6.7%. Thethe lowest unemployment among womenfemale could be observed in Northern Ireland that yearin this year.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a clear overview and accurately identifies the highest, lowest, and exceptional trends across the four countries. Its main weaknesses are the inaccurate claim that every decrease was only 0.2–0.4 percentage points, despite Northern Ireland falling by one point, and frequent grammatical errors in percentage expressions. Prioritise calculating each change precisely and proofreading articles, plurals, tense, and comparative structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report gives a clear overview and covers all countries and both years accurately, apart from understating Northern Ireland’s decrease.
Calculate each year-to-year change separately and describe changes in percentage points rather than using an inaccurate shared range.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview through 2013 and 2014 comparisons, although the single-paragraph format limits structural clarity.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and separate the two years or group falling rates against Scotland’s increase.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for the task, but repeated wording and imprecise forms such as ‘ratio’, ‘percentages’, and ‘provinces’ reduce accuracy.
Use ‘unemployment rate’, ‘percentage points’, and the correct geographical term ‘countries’ consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains mostly clear, but frequent errors with articles, plural forms, tense, sentence boundaries, and percentage constructions show limited control.
Proofread every numerical sentence for the pattern ‘X% of women’ and maintain past tense throughout the 2013–2014 description.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The following graph shows the percentage of unemployment rates for the female in the UK.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.