The following graph shows the percentage of unemployment rates for the female in the UK. Female unemployment rates in the four counties in the UK
Sample Response
The bar graph outlines the female unemployment rates in four counties in the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. Generally speaking, 5 to 7 percent women in these provinces were jobless in 2013 and in a year this rate dropped slightly except in Scotland. According to the given illustration, 6.8 percent women in England were jobless in 2013 which was higher than the female unemployment rates in Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. Female unemployment ratio in Wales was 5.4 % which was the lowest among the given counties. The ratio of unemployed females in Scotland and Northern Ireland stood at 6.1% and 5.6% respective. After a year, the unemployment ratio among females in England, Wales and Northern Ireland dropped by 0.2% to 0.4% and stayed between 4.6 to 6.5 percentages but it actually increases in Scotland. The rate of unemployed females in Scotland became the highest in 2014 which was 6.7%. the lowest unemployment among female could be observed in Northern Ireland in this year.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use comparison verb Original: outlines Suggested revision: compares Why it matters: The chart compares four countries across two years rather than outlining a process.
- 2. Add percentage preposition Original: 5 to 7 percent women Suggested revision: 5% to 7% of women Why it matters: A percentage must be followed by of before the group being measured.
- 3. Name UK countries Original: in these provinces Suggested revision: across these countries Why it matters: England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland are the four countries represented.
- 4. Clarify time transition Original: in a year Suggested revision: one year later Why it matters: One year later clearly links the 2013 and 2014 data.
- 5. Use plural rates Original: this rate dropped Suggested revision: these rates dropped Why it matters: The statement refers to unemployment rates in several countries, so the plural is required.
- 6. Fix percentage phrase Original: 6.8 percent women Suggested revision: 6.8% of women Why it matters: Use of after a percentage when identifying the affected group.
- 7. Use rates for countries Original: in Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Rates for is the natural construction when associating values with countries.
- 8. Use unemployment rate Original: Female unemployment ratio Suggested revision: The female unemployment rate Why it matters: Rate is the standard term for this percentage measure, and the noun phrase needs an article.
- 9. Use adverb form Original: respective Suggested revision: respectively Why it matters: Respectively is the adverb needed to match two values with two countries in order.
- 10. Correct decline range Original: dropped by 0.2% to 0.4% Suggested revision: dropped by 0.3 to 1 percentage point Why it matters: The falls were 0.3 points in England, 0.4 in Wales, and 1.0 in Northern Ireland.
- 11. Fix between construction Original: between 4.6 to 6.5 percentages Suggested revision: between 4.6% and 6.5% Why it matters: Between pairs with and, and the values take the percent symbol rather than percentages.
- 12. Use past tense Original: increases Suggested revision: increased Why it matters: The sentence reports a completed change from 2013 to 2014.
Suggested Rewrites
- outlines compares
- 5 to 7 percent women 5% to 7% of women
- in these provinces across these countries
- in a year one year later
- this rate dropped these rates dropped
- 6.8 percent women 6.8% of women
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a clear overview and accurately identifies the highest, lowest, and exceptional trends across the four countries. Its main weaknesses are the inaccurate claim that every decrease was only 0.2–0.4 percentage points, despite Northern Ireland falling by one point, and frequent grammatical errors in percentage expressions. Prioritise calculating each change precisely and proofreading articles, plurals, tense, and comparative structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report gives a clear overview and covers all countries and both years accurately, apart from understating Northern Ireland’s decrease.
Calculate each year-to-year change separately and describe changes in percentage points rather than using an inaccurate shared range.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview through 2013 and 2014 comparisons, although the single-paragraph format limits structural clarity.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and separate the two years or group falling rates against Scotland’s increase.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for the task, but repeated wording and imprecise forms such as ‘ratio’, ‘percentages’, and ‘provinces’ reduce accuracy.
Use ‘unemployment rate’, ‘percentage points’, and the correct geographical term ‘countries’ consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains mostly clear, but frequent errors with articles, plural forms, tense, sentence boundaries, and percentage constructions show limited control.
Proofread every numerical sentence for the pattern ‘X% of women’ and maintain past tense throughout the 2013–2014 description.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The following graph shows the percentage of unemployment rates for the female in the UK. Female unemployment rates in the four counties in the UK
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.