The chart below shows the percentage of people in UK, by age group,who have their own home from 1981 to 2011.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people who owned a homeowned their own residence in the UK from 1981 to 2011. Overall,most of the groups fluctuated, except for the 36-45 age bracket, which showedexcept for the people in the 36-45 age bracket showed a general upward trend over the period shown.Furthermore,Furthermore，the figure for the 18-25 age group witnessed a downward trend from 1981 to 2011. The percentage of people aged 36-45 owning their own accommodation increased continuously and climbed to its peak at 69% in 2011,which was nearly seven times as highmuch as the percentage of people agedin 18-25 inat the same year。In contrast,a steadily declining proportion of individualsfewer and fewer people aged 18-25 had their own residences over the period fromof 1981 to 2011,which in the end fell to roughly 10% (dropping to its lowest in 2001 at around 9%)fell to the bottom at 10%.In addition,the data for people aged 46-55 and 56+ displayed fluctuating patternstold a different story.They remained relatively stable at the figure around 40% exceptexpect for people aged 56+ in 2001,with the figure rising to 55%.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response successfully identifies key overall trends and provides accurate data comparisons between the highest and lowest age categories. However, it completely omits the data for the 26–35 age group and contains noticeable grammatical and punctuation errors. To improve, ensure all categories from the visual prompt are summarized and revise sentence structures to eliminate run-on clauses.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends and numerical comparisons are provided, but a major feature—the 26–35 age group—is entirely missing from the body paragraphs.
Include data for every represented category in the visual prompt so that all major key features are fully covered.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized into distinct paragraphs with logical grouping, though some mechanical transitions are slightly repetitive.
Vary your linking expressions and ensure smooth structural transitions between dynamic trend descriptions.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of task-appropriate vocabulary is used, though minor spelling or typographical mistakes are present.
Proofread carefully to eliminate typographical errors such as mixing up 'except' and 'expect'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is attempted, but grammatical errors and non-standard punctuation periodically disrupt clarity.
Ensure correct relative clause structures to avoid ungrammatical run-on sentences like 'except for the people... showed'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the percentage of people in UK, by age group,who have their own home from 1981 to 2011.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.