The chart below shows the percentage of people in UK, by age group,who have their own home from 1981 to 2011.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people who ownedowing their own homesresidence in the UK from 1981 to 2011. Overall,most of the groups fluctuated, except that the 36-45 age bracket showedexpect for the people in the 36-45 age bracket showed a general upward trend over the period shown.FurthermoreFuthermore,the figure for the 18-25 age groupfigure for 18-25 age group witnessed a downward trend from 1981 to 2011. The percentage of people aged 36-45 owning their own accommodationowing their own accomadations aged 36-45 increasedincrease continuously and climbed to its peak at 69% in 2011,which was nearly seven times as highmuch as the percentage of people agedin 18-25 inat the same year.While in contrast,fewer and fewer people aged 18-25 had their own residences over the period of 1981 to 2011,which in the end fell to a low of 10%.fall to the bottom at 10% .In addition,the data for people aged 46-55 and 56+ exhibited different patternstold a different story.They remained relatively stable between roughly 35% and 48%stable at the figure around 40% except in 2001 for those aged 56+, when the figure reached approximately 55%.expect for people aged 56+ in 2001,with the figure rising to 45%.
Why this response received Band 5.5
文章能够覆盖图表的主要趋势并尝试进行数据对比,结构清晰且字数达标。然而,部分数据解读不够精准(如对46-55及56+组别的数据描述与图表有偏差),且存在较多语法与拼写错误。建议重点提高数据读取的准确性,并加强基础语法句型与词汇拼写的积累。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务完成度
文章包含了概述并对关键年龄段进行了比较,但部分细节数据读取不够准确,且漏掉了26-35岁组别的具体描述。
仔细核对图表数据(如56+组在2001年接近55%而非45%),确保涵盖所有关键组别的数据特征。
连贯与衔接
文章段落划分清晰,合理使用了部分连接词(如While, In addition),整体逻辑推进自然。
注意连接词后标点符号的使用,并减少口语化表达(如told a different story),使衔接更加规范专业。
词汇资源
尝试使用多样化的词汇表达住房拥有率和趋势,但出现了多处拼写错误和用词不当。
纠正基础拼写错误(如 owing 应为 owning,accomadations 应为 accommodation),积累更准确的描述图表的近义词。
语法多样性与准确性
尝试使用多种句式(如定语从句和分词结构),但存在频繁的语法错误,影响了表达的准确性。
重点练习主谓一致、时态一致性(如increase与climbed混用)以及正确连接两个独立主谓结构(避免逗号误连)。
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the percentage of people in UK, by age group,who have their own home from 1981 to 2011.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.