The graph below shows the percentage of part-time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010.
Sample Response
The bar chart shows the percentage of people who have part-time jobs in the countries that make up the United Kingdom, both in 1980 and in 2010. There’has generally been a small increase in part-time workers from 1980 to 2010, except in Northern Ireland. The graph also shows that England and Wales have far more part-time workers than Northern Ireland and Scotland.
In 1980, 25% of people in England worked part time. The only country with a greater percentage of part-time workers was Wales, with around 33% working part time. Both countries saw an increase in the percentage of people working part time in 2010. In England, the percentage rose to over 30% and in Wales percentage rose to just over 35%.
Scotland had the smallest percentage of part-time workers in 1980, with just over ten per cent. However, this rose to almost 20% in 2010 which is a large increase. Lastly, Northern Ireland was the only country which had a decreasing percentage of part-time workers. In 1980, it had around 15% of people in part-time work. This decreased by a couple of per cent in 2010.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the verb form Original: There’has Suggested revision: There has Why it matters: The contraction mark is incorrect because has is written in full.
- 2. Compare percentages accurately Original: have far more part-time workers than Suggested revision: had higher proportions of part-time workers than Why it matters: The chart compares percentages rather than absolute numbers of workers.
- 3. Add possessive structure Original: in Wales percentage Suggested revision: Wales's percentage Why it matters: A possessive form is needed to show that the percentage belongs to Wales.
- 4. Add a comma Original: 2010 which Suggested revision: 2010, which Why it matters: The non-defining which clause must be separated with a comma.
- 5. Use natural trend language Original: which had a decreasing percentage of part-time workers Suggested revision: where the percentage of part-time workers decreased Why it matters: A percentage decreases; a country does not have a decreasing percentage in this construction.
- 6. Correct the percentage structure Original: it had around 15% of people Suggested revision: around 15% of people were Why it matters: This structure correctly makes the percentage phrase the subject of the clause.
- 7. State the exact change Original: a couple of per cent Suggested revision: two percentage points Why it matters: The chart shows a fall from about 15% to 13%, a difference of two percentage points.
- 8. Sharpen the overview Suggested revision: State that Wales remained highest, Scotland had the largest rise, and Northern Ireland was the only country to decline. Why it matters: These features provide a clearer summary of the principal comparisons and contrasting trends.
Suggested Rewrites
- There’has There has
- have far more part-time workers than had higher proportions of part-time workers than
- in Wales percentage Wales's percentage
- 2010 which 2010, which
- which had a decreasing percentage of part-time workers where the percentage of part-time workers decreased
- it had around 15% of people around 15% of people were
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, well-structured account of all four countries and accurately identifies the overall contrast and the sole decline. Language is generally fluent, though a few small grammatical slips and some repeated wording reduce polish, while describing the overall rise as small understates Scotland's larger increase. Prioritise precise qualification of differing changes and a final proofread for article and contraction errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the main patterns, and the detailed figures for every country are accurate and appropriately compared.
Qualify the overview more precisely by noting that most rises were modest while Scotland's increase was comparatively large.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically divided into an overview and two well-focused detail paragraphs, with cohesive progression throughout.
Reduce repeated references to 'the percentage of people working part time' by using concise referencing where meaning remains clear.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is accurate and sufficiently varied for the task, with effective language for comparison and change.
Broaden the range of concise trend expressions to avoid repeating 'percentage' and 'part-time workers' unnecessarily.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence forms are handled confidently, with only minor slips such as 'There’has' and the missing article before 'percentage'.
Proofread contractions and article use so isolated errors do not interrupt otherwise fluent sentences.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the percentage of part-time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.