The chart below shows the number (thousands) of four kinds of students in the UK in 1990, 1998 and 2005.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The chart illustrates the figures for four categories of studentsfigure for four kinds of students in the UK in three separate yearsover three periods (1990, 1998 and 2005).
Overall, it is clear that the numbers of all kinds of students experienced a sharp rise. In addition, malemales full-time students had the highest numbers inhad the largest in both 1990 and 1998, overtaken by the figure for female full-time students in 2005females full-time in 2005.
Regarding male full-time students,With regard to the figure for males full-time, before climbing sharply to 800 thousand in 2005, it experienced a slight increase from 200 thousand to approximately 300 thousand over the first eight years. Similarly, the figures for female full-time and female part-time studentsfigure for females full-time and females part-time also grew steadily before surging in 2005, rising from around 180,000 and 100,000 in 1990 to approximately 230,000 and 200,000 in 1998, and reaching about 820,000 and 800,000 in 2005, respectively.shared the same trend (from 190 thousand to roughly 810 thousand and from 100 thousand to 800 thousand, respectively.)
By contrast, the number of male part-time studentsthe number of males part-time declined mildly from about 160180 thousand in 1990 to approximately 100 thousand in 1998, after which it surged to approximately 760 thousand by 2005surged to 780 thousand over the last seven years. But the figure for it was still the smallest with the exception of 1990.apart from in 1990.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay effectively highlights the key trends and data points from the chart while providing a clear overview. However, minor data reading inaccuracies and recurring errors in grammar and word forms lower the overall precision. To improve, focus on mastering noun modifier forms like 'male full-time students' and refining sentence structures for complex comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview is presented alongside accurate descriptions of the key trends and data points across the period.
Ensure all figures, such as the initial data for part-time males, are read with maximum visual precision from the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into paragraphs with appropriate connective phrases to show contrast and similarity.
Vary cohesive devices to avoid overusing repetitive phrasing like 'the figure for' across body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, though occasional inappropriate word forms occur.
Use correct adjective and noun forms, such as 'male full-time students' rather than pluralized forms like 'males full-time'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is attempted, but frequent minor grammatical inaccuracies remain present.
Proofread for missing nouns after superlatives and ensure complete structure in complex comparative clauses.