The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.
Sample Response
The bar chart shows the gender distribution of teachers teaching in six different levels of education in England in 2010.
In two of six grades, primary and pre-school, females much further outnumbered males as teachers. There was slightly different in secondary school level, in which women teacher’s number were still dominant. The percentage of the college teachers, both women and men, were equal. Males won in private training institute, by over 50%. There was a sharp gap in the university where the number of male teachers was higher than females, 70% male teachers against 30% female teachers. Overall, the graph shows that in the UK, female teachers were famous in teaching from toddlers to secondary school. Meanwhile, male teachers were the highest percentage in teaching in the university and private training. In the college level, same numbers of male and female teachers were teaching in 2010 in the UK. The presented data depicts that male teachers mostly taught in higher level while more female teachers were teaching on the primary level.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart category Original: levels of education Suggested revision: educational settings Why it matters: The chart compares types of educational setting rather than successive education levels.
- 2. Match location Original: England Suggested revision: the UK Why it matters: The task and chart refer to the whole UK, not England specifically.
- 3. Fix sentence structure Original: There was slightly different Suggested revision: The pattern was slightly different Why it matters: The original construction lacks a grammatical subject and complement.
- 4. Fix number phrase Original: women teacher’s number were still dominant Suggested revision: the number of female teachers was still higher Why it matters: Use a singular head noun with singular agreement and a clear comparison.
- 5. Use neutral wording Original: Males won Suggested revision: Male teachers formed the majority Why it matters: Won inaccurately presents a statistical comparison as a competition.
- 6. Add article Original: private training institute Suggested revision: the private training institute Why it matters: This singular chart category requires the definite article here.
- 7. Report the proportion Original: by over 50% Suggested revision: at just under 60% Why it matters: The chart shows the male share near 57%, not a margin of over 50 percentage points.
- 8. Clarify category Original: a sharp gap in the university Suggested revision: a large gender gap at university level Why it matters: This wording identifies the setting and the type of difference precisely.
- 9. Compare like terms Original: higher than females Suggested revision: higher than that of female teachers Why it matters: The number of male teachers must be compared with the corresponding number for women.
- 10. Report proportions clearly Original: 70% male teachers against 30% female teachers Suggested revision: with male and female teachers accounting for 70% and 30%, respectively Why it matters: The replacement integrates the two percentages grammatically and unambiguously.
- 11. Use accurate verb Original: female teachers were famous in teaching Suggested revision: female teachers predominated Why it matters: Famous describes reputation, whereas the chart shows numerical predominance.
- 12. Use chart labels Original: from toddlers to secondary school Suggested revision: from nursery/pre-school to secondary school Why it matters: Toddlers are not a labelled educational setting in the chart.
Suggested Rewrites
- levels of education educational settings
- England the UK
- There was slightly different The pattern was slightly different
- women teacher’s number were still dominant the number of female teachers was still higher
- Males won Male teachers formed the majority
- private training institute the private training institute
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the main gender pattern across the educational settings and includes several useful comparisons, with the equal college split and university figures reported accurately. Its main limitation is insufficient precise coverage of the chart, alongside awkward language that sometimes blurs comparisons. Prioritise a distinct overview followed by grouped, data-supported comparisons of all six settings, using accurate comparative grammar and natural terms for proportions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a relevant overview and several key comparisons, but gives little precise data for the lower educational levels and describes some features vaguely.
Support the overview with selected figures for nursery, primary, and secondary education and state the private-training comparison precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information generally progresses from lower to higher educational settings, although nearly all details and the overview are compressed into one long paragraph.
Separate the overview from two logically grouped detail paragraphs and reduce repeated concluding statements.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe proportions and contrasts, but choices such as 'won,' 'famous,' and 'grades' are inaccurate or unnatural in this context.
Use precise chart language such as 'accounted for,' 'predominated,' 'educational settings,' and 'proportion.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains understandable, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, possessives, and comparative structures reduce grammatical control.
Check subject-verb agreement and practise accurate patterns such as 'the proportion of women was higher than that of men.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.