The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The diagrams detail the current layoutpresent construction of a sports centre and the proposed redevelopmentplans for its renovation. OverallLooking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that there are plans to remove the outdoor courts and expand the centregym with additional facilities for swimming, changing, dancing, and amenities such as a sports shop and caféactivities largely unrelated to exercise like shopping and having coffee.
At the moment, the university’s main building is flanked by large outdoor courts. The plan is to remove the western courts in favour of a leisure pool largerlarger in size than the current pool, which will itself remain unchanged during renovations. The entire main building will not undergo alterations including the changing rooms, reception and seating area. The only slight exception is that the gym on the northern end of the building will be lengthened eastwards and connectedconnect with two new adjoining dance studios.
The outdoor court on the eastern side will be replaced by a sports hall and to the southeast of the sports hall the university will add an additional changing room (which is mirrored by the same room in the southwestern corner of the plans) and an abutting cafe to the west. The large entrance area will not be impeded in any way but a new sports shop will open next to the southwesternwesternmost changing room.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response selects almost all major changes and presents them in a clear, spatially organised progression, with a strong overview of the expanded centre and its new facilities. The main limitation is occasional imprecision or overstatement, especially the claim that the entire main building will not change before noting the enlarged gym. The priority is to qualify unchanged features more precisely and keep directional descriptions exact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and details cover the principal removals, additions, expansions, and retained facilities accurately, with only minor imprecision about what remains unchanged.
State specifically that the central pool, reception, seating, and existing changing room remain while the gym is extended, avoiding an overgeneralised claim about the whole building.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped by the western, central, and eastern areas, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly through the redevelopment.
Refine the transition around the unchanged central facilities and the gym exception so the relationship is immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise range of language describes location and redevelopment effectively, despite a few slightly awkward choices such as present construction and will not be impeded.
Choose more natural map-reporting phrases such as current layout, remain unchanged, and entrance will be retained.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex structures with strong control, and the few cumbersome constructions do not impede communication.
Streamline the longest sentences and use punctuation to separate multiple spatial details more cleanly.