The graph shows the percentage of the population living in urban areas on different continents.
Sample Response
The provided bar charts reveal six different continents, Europe, Africa, South America, the world, Asia and North America’s percentage urban areal population in 2003 and forecast for 2030.
Overall, Europe, South America and North America had a major percentage citizen while will increase slightly in 2030 additionally, another continent popular also rise.
In 2003, the highest percentage four-fifth percentage of North American lived in the city while half of that percentage of African lived, that was also the least proportion that time. World and Asia had approximately 48% and 44% urban areas population respectively.. 8% less than North America percentage citizen lived in Europe and just more 3% European people lived in South America.
In 2030, it predicted that above just tenth percentage will jump up in world and Europe however, Africa and Asia population percentage in the countryside will same on account of half proportion. South America will have a peak percentage of roughly 83% and 82% of North American people will live in the city.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Rebuild comparison phrase Original: the highest percentage four-fifth percentage of North American lived in the city Suggested revision: the highest proportion was in North America, where four-fifths of people lived in cities Why it matters: The original phrase has incorrect noun forms and lacks a grammatical clause structure.
- 2. Fix plural noun Original: half of that percentage of African lived Suggested revision: half that proportion of Africans lived in urban areas Why it matters: Africans needs a plural noun form and the comparison requires a clearer complement.
- 3. Correct relative clause Original: that was also the least proportion that time Suggested revision: which was the lowest proportion at that time Why it matters: The revision supplies the correct relative pronoun, superlative and time phrase.
- 4. Use natural noun phrase Original: urban areas population Suggested revision: urban populations Why it matters: Urban populations is the natural expression for people living in urban areas.
- 5. Remove extra full stop Original: respectively.. Suggested revision: respectively. Why it matters: Only one full stop is needed at the end of the sentence.
- 6. Add passive auxiliary Original: it predicted Suggested revision: it is predicted Why it matters: The passive prediction construction requires is before predicted.
- 7. Correct projected changes Original: above just tenth percentage will jump up in world and Europe Suggested revision: the world's figure will rise by just over ten percentage points and Europe's by about five Why it matters: The chart shows different increases for the world and Europe rather than the same rise.
- 8. Separate contrasting clauses Original: however, Suggested revision: ; however, Why it matters: A semicolon is needed before however when it joins two independent clauses.
- 9. Fix noun phrase Original: Africa and Asia population percentage Suggested revision: the urban population figures for Africa and Asia Why it matters: The revision uses a grammatical noun phrase for the two projected figures.
- 10. Use the chart measure Original: in the countryside Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The chart reports urban populations, so this countryside reference describes the wrong measure.
- 11. Add verb and adjective Original: will same Suggested revision: will be similar Why it matters: The predicate requires the verb be and the adjective similar.
- 12. Clarify approximate level Original: on account of half proportion Suggested revision: at around half of their populations Why it matters: This wording clearly expresses the approximate proportions shown for Africa and Asia.
Suggested Rewrites
- the highest percentage four-fifth percentage of North American lived in the city the highest proportion was in North America, where four-fifths of people lived in cities
- half of that percentage of African lived half that proportion of Africans lived in urban areas
- that was also the least proportion that time which was the lowest proportion at that time
- urban areas population urban populations
- respectively.. respectively.
- it predicted it is predicted
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response’s strongest feature is its attempt to organise the data by year and include figures for all six geographical categories. However, the overview is vague, several comparisons are inaccurate or unclear, and frequent grammatical and lexical errors often obstruct meaning. The highest priority is to use short, accurate comparative sentences that state each region’s urban percentage and change directly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response addresses both years and reports several approximate figures, but the overview lacks a clear overall pattern and some comparisons misrepresent the chart.
State that every category is projected to rise, identify the highest and lowest figures, and check each reported comparison against the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion
The year-based paragraph structure provides basic progression, although faulty linking and overloaded sentences make relationships difficult to follow.
Use one clear comparison per sentence and connect ideas with simple, accurate devices such as “whereas” and “by contrast.”
Lexical Resource
There is some relevant chart vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices repeatedly obscure the intended comparisons.
Use dependable phrases such as “the proportion of people living in urban areas” and avoid substitutions like “percentage citizen” or “continent popular.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some simple structures communicate data, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, sentence construction, and verb forms often impede clarity.
Build each data statement around a complete subject and verb, then check agreement and tense before adding comparisons.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph shows the percentage of the population living in urban areas on different continents.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.