The graph below shows the percentage of urban/suburban and rural households in a European country that had Internet access between 1999 and 2004.
Sample Response
The bar graph shows the percentages of city and rural households with the internet access in a European country from 1999 to 2004. Generally speaking, fewer percentages of rural households had the internet connection than that of city people and overall internet accessibility enhanced remarkably over the time. In 1999, merely 2% rural household in this European country had access to the internet while around 15% city dwellers had this facility. Next year, one out of every 20 rural houses gained this access while almost one-third urban and suburban families were connected to the global internet. After two years, half of the city dwellers gained internet access while it was as small as 15% for rural citizens. Next two years, the percentages of households in rural areas who joined this network increased sharply, from 15% to 35%. The ratio of households in urban and suburban areas with the internet access rose to roughly 55%, a slower extension than that of rural households during the last three years. The ratio of homes, both in cities and rural areas, with access to the internet was quite negligible in 1999 but improved dramatically within next 5 years.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match chart groups Original: city and rural households Suggested revision: urban/suburban and rural households Why it matters: The chart combines urban and suburban households as one category.
- 2. Remove the article Original: with the internet access in a European country Suggested revision: with internet access in a European country Why it matters: "Internet access" is used without "the" in this general sense.
- 3. Fix comparison phrase Original: fewer percentages of rural households Suggested revision: a lower percentage of rural households Why it matters: A single group is described with "a lower percentage," not "fewer percentages."
- 4. Compare like units Original: than that of city people Suggested revision: than the percentage of urban/suburban households Why it matters: The comparison must match one household percentage with the other.
- 5. Use trend language Original: internet accessibility enhanced remarkably Suggested revision: internet access increased markedly Why it matters: Access increases; it does not "enhance" by itself in this context.
- 6. Remove the article Original: over the time Suggested revision: over time Why it matters: The fixed expression is "over time" without an article.
- 7. Add of and plural Original: 2% rural household Suggested revision: 2% of rural households Why it matters: A percentage is followed by "of" and a plural group noun.
- 8. Keep household unit Original: 15% city dwellers Suggested revision: 15% of urban/suburban households Why it matters: The chart measures households rather than individual city dwellers.
- 9. State exact year Original: Next year Suggested revision: In 2000 Why it matters: An exact year is clearer in a six-year data series.
- 10. Use consistent category Original: rural houses Suggested revision: rural households Why it matters: "Households" matches the chart's unit and the surrounding report.
- 11. Add of phrase Original: one-third urban and suburban families Suggested revision: one-third of urban/suburban households Why it matters: The fraction requires "of," and the chart category is households.
- 12. Use standard term Original: global internet Suggested revision: internet Why it matters: "Global" is redundant because the chart simply measures internet access.
Suggested Rewrites
- city and rural households urban/suburban and rural households
- with the internet access in a European country with internet access in a European country
- fewer percentages of rural households a lower percentage of rural households
- than that of city people than the percentage of urban/suburban households
- internet accessibility enhanced remarkably internet access increased markedly
- over the time over time
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report identifies both central trends and selects generally accurate figures, with clear direct comparisons between urban and rural access. Its main weakness is imprecise language and time referencing—phrases such as fewer percentages, after two years and next two years make otherwise sound data harder to follow—so the highest priority is to group the years explicitly and use precise proportion and growth language in separate overview and detail paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The overview accurately identifies rising access and the persistent urban lead, while the selected start, midpoint and end figures represent the main trends well.
Anchor each comparison to named years and include the 2001 or 2003 values to make the differing growth patterns more fully supported.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a broadly chronological progression and uses comparisons effectively, but vague time references and the absence of paragraphing weaken organisation.
Separate the overview from two clearly dated detail groups, such as 1999–2001 and 2002–2004.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to describe change and comparison, but frequent unnatural choices such as fewer percentages, accessibility enhanced and slower extension reduce precision.
Prefer standard chart language such as a lower proportion, access increased, and a slower rate of growth.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the data clearly, although article, plural, preposition and comparison errors occur frequently.
Check noun phrases and comparisons, especially 2% of rural households, one-third of urban families and lower than the urban figure.
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