The graph gives information about drinking habits of the US population by age.
Sample Response
The bar graph outlines the drinking habits of Americans based on their age groups. As can be seen, US citizens’ drinking pattern greatly varies based on their age and elder population over 65 years mostly abstain from drinking. According to the diagram, 60% US citizens between 16 to 24 years old have never been on alcohol while roughly 10% of them used to drink but now are abstainers. Around one-quarter of these young Americans are light-drinkers while remaining 5% drinks heavily. A similar pattern could be observed among the 25-34 years age group but with an increasing ratio of irregular drinkers and almost 8% hard drinker. It is interesting to note that chronic alcoholics in the US are highest between 35-54 years population and this ratio is lower among the younger and senior citizens. The rate of people who never have had alcohol declines with the increase of age and a reverse trend could be observed for the ex-drinkers whose proportion hikes as people get older. The highest ratio of hard drinkers falls between 45-54 years age group and the light drinkers is highest among the 25-34 years old Americans. Finally, an overwhelming number of US population, almost 40%, quit drinking when they are over 64 years old.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix agreement and order Original: drinking pattern greatly varies Suggested revision: drinking patterns vary greatly Why it matters: The plural subject needs a plural verb, and the adverb is more naturally placed after it.
- 2. Use correct age term Original: elder Suggested revision: older Why it matters: Elder is not normally used attributively for a population group in this context.
- 3. Add percentage structure Original: 60% US citizens Suggested revision: 60% of US citizens Why it matters: A percentage followed by a noun group requires of.
- 4. Fix age range Original: to Suggested revision: and Why it matters: Between must be paired with and when expressing a range.
- 5. Use precise drinking phrase Original: have never been on alcohol Suggested revision: have never consumed alcohol Why it matters: Been on alcohol is not an idiomatic way to describe drinking history.
- 6. Remove unnecessary hyphen Original: light-drinkers Suggested revision: light drinkers Why it matters: The compound noun is conventionally written without a hyphen.
- 7. Fix article and agreement Original: while remaining 5% drinks heavily Suggested revision: while the remaining 5% drink heavily Why it matters: The phrase needs the definite article and a plural verb referring to people.
- 8. Form age modifier Original: 25-34 years age group Suggested revision: 25–34-year-old age group Why it matters: A compound age used before a noun should be singular and hyphenated.
- 9. Use proportion for people Original: rate Suggested revision: proportion Why it matters: Proportion is the appropriate term for the share of a population.
- 10. Use natural verb order Original: never have had alcohol Suggested revision: have never consumed alcohol Why it matters: This word order and verb choice express the intended meaning more naturally.
- 11. Qualify the trend Original: declines with the increase of age Suggested revision: generally declines with age Why it matters: The chart shows an overall decline with a small rise in the 35–44 group.
- 12. Describe trend accurately Original: a reverse trend could be observed for the ex-drinkers whose proportion hikes as people get older Suggested revision: the proportion of ex-drinkers generally rises with age, especially after age 54 Why it matters: The ex-drinker share is not continuously increasing across every younger group.
Suggested Rewrites
- drinking pattern greatly varies drinking patterns vary greatly
- elder older
- 60% US citizens 60% of US citizens
- to and
- have never been on alcohol have never consumed alcohol
- light-drinkers light drinkers
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response identifies the main age-related patterns and several notable highs, with generally clear progression through the groups. Its main weakness is imprecise reporting: some trends are overstated as continuous, and terms such as irregular drinkers and chronic alcoholics do not accurately match the chart categories. Prioritise exact category labels and qualify trends when the figures fluctuate rather than move steadily.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several accurate comparisons cover the main patterns, although the claims that never-drinking steadily declines and ex-drinking steadily rises overlook fluctuations in the chart.
Use the chart's exact categories and describe overall tendencies with qualifications where adjacent age groups depart from the trend.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a sensible age-group progression and uses comparison signals effectively, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph weakens structural clarity.
Separate the overview from the detailed comparisons and group related age bands into two focused body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably varied range for trends and proportions, though several choices such as irregular drinkers, chronic alcoholics, and never been on alcohol are inaccurate or unnatural.
Prefer precise neutral chart language such as ex-drinkers, heavy drinkers, and people who have never consumed alcohol.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the data clearly, but recurring article, agreement, plural, and preposition errors reduce control.
Proofread noun phrases and subject-verb agreement, especially forms such as 60% of US citizens, the remaining 5%, and light drinkers are.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph gives information about drinking habits of the US population by age.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.