The graph below shows a 2008 report about the consumption of energy in the USA since 1980, with projections until 2030.

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 5.5–6)
Same-task comparison

This response is estimated at Band 5.5. Can you write a better one?

Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.

  • Closest to official scores
  • What to fix on each criterion
  • Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Start writing this task

Sample Response

1

The given graph illustrates a 2008 report about how the consumption of energy changed in the USA since 1980, with projections until 2030.

2

Overall, it is clear that the consumption of petrol and oil, coal, nuclear solar/wind,natural gas followed ana upward trend from 1980 to 2025,after which their consumption is projected to increaseafter which these consumption of energy projected will increase until 2030. By contrast, the figure for petrol and oil is the highest in thosethoese energies. MeanwhileWhereas, the figure for hydropower experienced a slightlysilghtly decreased in this period in the USin US.

3

The amount of petrol and oil significantly rose from 35 quadrillion unitsfrom 35 in 1980 to 45 in 2025, and then will keep rising to more than 45 asby projected. similarly, the figure for coal also saw ana upward trend throughout the period. Interestingly, the figures for nuclearthe number of nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower all changed slightly in the first three decades, after which they held steadyafter which held steady at about 3-5 in the final yearsin last years.

4

Looking at the natural gas, it shows an erratic increaseunstable increased between 1980 and 2015. The figure for natural gas climbed from 21 in 1980 to about 23 in 2015, before remainingbefore it remaining unchanged at about 24 from 2015 to 2025at 23 in 2015 to 2025, even until 2030until the 2030.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 5.5

文章涵盖了图表的主要趋势并给出了总结,成功传达了各类能源消耗的总体走向。然而,文中缺少了关键的测量单位(Quadrillion units),且出现了较多语法表达与拼写错误。建议下一步优先加强数值与单位描述的准确度,并提高复合句及时态表达的规范性。

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

任务完成度

6.0
Scoring rule

文章包含了一个总括性的概述,并尝试对比不同能源的消耗趋势,但遗漏了图表左侧的测量单位且部分数据不够精准。

Next step

在正文中明确注明数据单位(quadrillion units),并在引用具体数据时确保与图表刻度严格对应。

CC

连贯与衔接

5.0
Scoring rule

文章分段大致合理,但衔接词使用不够恰当,且部分句子结构零碎,影响了整体逻辑连贯性。

Next step

避免使用如“Whereas”开头的单字独立句,改用正确的连接词引导完整的从句或对比结构。

LR

词汇资源

5.0
Scoring rule

尝试使用了描述趋势的表达,但存在多次拼写错误及不可数名词搭配不当的问题。

Next step

积累并准确运用描述不可数名词(如能源消耗)的量词词组,如用“amount/level of nuclear energy”替代“number of nuclear”。

GRA

语法多样性与准确性

5.0
Scoring rule

语法错误较为频繁,涉及冠词搭配、时态混用(历史与预测)以及句式杂糅。

Next step

重点练习将“历史已发生数据(过去时)”与“未来预测数据(will/is projected to)”在同一个句子中规范结合的句式。