The graph below shows a 2008 report about the consumption of energy in the USA since 1980, with projections until 2030.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The given graph illustrates changes in energy consumptiona 2008 report about how the consumption of energy changed in the USA since 1980, with projections until 2030.
Overall, it is clear that the consumption of petrol and oil, coal, nuclear, solar/wind, and natural gasnuclear solar/wind,natural gas followed an upward trend from 1980 to 2025,after which this consumption is projected to increaseafter which these consumption of energy projected will increase until 2030. DeleteBy contrast, the figure for petrol and oil is the highest in thesethoese energies. However, the figure for hydropower experienced a slight decrease in this period in the US.
The amount of petrol and oil significantly rose from 35 quadrillion units in 1980 to about 48 quadrillion in 2025from 35 in 1980 to 45 in 2025, and then will keep rising to more than 45 as projected. Similarlysimilarly, the figure for coal rose steadily from approximately 16 quadrillion units in 1980 to a projected 32 quadrillion by 2030.figure for coal also saw an upward trend throughout the period. Interestingly, the figures forthe number of nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower all changed slightly in the first three decades, after which they held steady at about 3-5 in the final years.in last years.
Turning to natural gas,Looking at the natural gas, it shows an erratic rise betweenunstable increasebetween 1980 and 2015. The figure for natural gas climbed from 20 quadrillion units in 1980 to about 24 quadrillion in 2015climbed from 21 in 1980 to about 23 in 2015, before remaining unchanged at about 24 from2015 to 2025, and is projected to remain so through 2030., even until 2030.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay successfully identifies the primary overall trends and highlights the dominant fuel sources throughout the given period. However, the report omits the unit of measurement when citing figures and suffers from frequent grammatical and punctuation errors. To raise the writing standard, the candidate should include units like quadrillion units and carefully edit for subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends and major energy sources are clearly identified, though figures are cited without mentioning the actual units of measurement.
Always state the precise units from the vertical axis when presenting quantitative data.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into paragraphs, though missing spaces after punctuation make transitions appear clumsy.
Ensure proper spacing around punctuation and use clear linkers to present smooth comparisons between fuel types.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of vocabulary related to trends, though some expressions and noun choices are inaccurate.
Replace incorrect expressions such as using count terms for uncountable fuel categories with precise terminology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent grammatical inaccuracies and faulty punctuation lower clarity.
Focus on tense consistency and carefully proofread sentence boundaries to eliminate clause construction errors.